Been a while since i posted on here... had a lot of family issues that pulled me away and since they happen quite frequently, it should not have been a surprise that my blog needed to go on hold... but it still was... i enjoy writing and getting my feelings out and the thought of helping someone as other blogs have helped me is pretty cool... i am facing a pretty big conundrum at this point.
i think i finally realized that my Husband and Master is really vanilla at heart. He enjoys the little kink, but doesn't find any value in putting in the effort to Master. He also wants the benefits of owning a slave without any of the responsibility... i am trying to find the silver lining in this situation, but it is really hard... We have been doing our version (apparently my version) of ttwd for a few years now and i am just now figuring out that He really doesn't give a crap about it...
Feeling very frustrated and alone right now... sigh... i don't know where to go from here... i love Him, but i want Him to actually care about the fact that i live to please Him. i also don't want to be taken for granted... sigh...