1 Chance

 After ending the dynamic, he asked for another chance... and honestly, I really had to think on it. He hadn't hit any hard limits, but I am also looking for a submissive that naturally serves me and wants to take care of me... not just another boy friend putting in low key effort that gets to play with me... 

When I asked him why a dynamic instead of a friendship, he said it was because he wanted the closest connection possible and that he had just lost his focus and would like another chance... so I decided on 1 more chance... now without any points or rewards... still with activities to do and lists of things I like and don't like, lol... and the effort has definitely improved. I've only had to beat him once for bratty behavior... 

I'm really enjoying having things be about me... what I like, what I want, what intrigues me... I'm learning to use my voice and he is already used to my looks... I feel like, with one look, I can cease a behavior and cause him to get the silliest look on his face and with another look, I can melt him in my mouth, I mean my hands, lol. I am also enjoying the pampering... oh the pampering... I've always been the one that takes care of everyone else... it feels so good to be taken care of.

Pre - 90 Day Review

I am a little late on my 90 day review of the sub I have been reviewing... to be fair, migraines have kind of fucked me up... and there was also a minimal break period during the consideration period as well due a disconnect in expectations and attention to detail... but it's really just a structure of my design so it really only matters to me that I am a little behind on my timelines, lol... I digress...

The implementation of the new layer of activities and rewards, shifted things a little. Princess was racking up the points and hitting all of the self care points that were available. I had built in new points around walking the dog and cleaning up the house and he was smashing those out of the park. I don't have a lot of things I require, so I placed points around massaging me as well. 

Only one big annoyance for me happened with the door to his vehicle... this is gonna sound silly, but small things matter... and if I am going to be the Domme, then I really want to be heard and for my wishes to be followed... I think it is cute when someone gets the door for me if it is in the natural flow of their life and sometimes, even when someone goes out of their way to get the door for me... but if I get to my door and have to wait for you to unlock the door or for you to get to the door to open it for me, then who is really in control of the situation? Not me... and I shared this sentiment a couple of different ways and then very plainly got frustrated by it and laid it out, to which the response was that he just wouldn't get the door anymore, then lost focus on me for the rest of the evening...  I am used to this "shut down" technique and am not fond of it. I just want to be heard and to have things adjust to what I am asking for... It was around this same time that Princess asked how I could be more satisfied with our dynamic, and I totally lost my shit, lol...

I was so pissed about being asked how I could feel more satisfied... For one, I had a set day for review at the 90 day mark... I feel like everything with me is a test and I am always "collecting data" for my social experiment... so to ask me for that type of assessment almost a month early felt like another way he was controlling the situation, which didn't look great due to the car door situation... Secondly, I had provided a list of things that could be done to bring me satisfaction... it wasn't a big list, but it was there... 

So, taking a look at the data early, I determined that the dynamic should end. Princess lost focus on me and focused instead on earning all the points... lol... this created an interesting dynamic as the activities on the list that were more focused on me had lower point volumes, so by choosing to get the higher point activities, Princess was failing the test... What I want is more important than what you can get... I still wanted to be friends and still wanted to play from time to time as he is a solid cum dispenser, but not a full D/s dynamic. I ended up leaving early that day, to give him time to process... thankfully, I had gotten a tummy full of cum from using him before we had the conversations.