Gratitude #5

i am very excited today because we have finally been able to settle down and get things back to normal. Master is healthy and no longer consumed by other areas and i am healthy and back to being my normal motivated self (well...almost... need to get back on track with diet and exercise). Also, last night, i asked for something i never have before. i actually asked for spankings and requested that He spank me until i used my safe word. Then, i took as many as He would give me. At first, we started with hand to bare butt... i have a very low pain tolerance but my mind has not been in the right place lately and i really felt like a spanking session would help me snap back.

Master doesn't usually like to give me spankings that much because i usually start crying or begging or try to dance around to avoid it. i am really proud of how i handled last night and He told me that i was such a good girl. i counted them off while bent across Him looking up into His eyes. They were slow and thuddy, then fast and sharp, then light and stingy... After a bit He used a thick plastic ruler and i cried, but not too much. i didn't move from my spot, but wriggled around a little (He likes it when i squirm). i didn't use my safe word, but almost did... i really needed the release of those tears. i really needed that pain. He says we might need to do maintenance spankings for a little while to see if that helps me stay in the right frame of mind.

i am so thankful that Master allows me to make requests or suggestions because it makes me feel like my input is still valued even when He makes a decision and it is not be my request or suggestion.