Sigh... ttwd... that thing we do... i love how this little phrase can mean so many different things to so many people... my Master is now fully taking control. It feels like everything i ever wanted and nothing i want to experience at the same time. What a weird feeling... to be torn in half by varying sides within oneself...
This conundrum and split mentality is slowly driving me insane.
i want to please Him and go to the strip club, but i don't want to go because it is against my personal internal belief system to look at individuals other than my spouse in a sexual manner...
i want to please Him by telling Him that i want to go, but i don't want to lie to make that happen because honesty and trust are so important in a marriage and this particular lifestyle...
The big focus now is discovering how to ask and answer questions to provide the verbiage He is looking for while maintaining my honesty...
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