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Monday, January 18, 2016

WTF happened today?!

i started to finally feel like myself... i sat down and caught up on some blog postings... Trying to get all my kinky shit down before making new memories... i got some chores done... i was feeling pretty proud of myself...

Then i asked Daddy to go on a date with Sire upon his request and He became really clingy and upset and accusatory... It tore me apart as i felt like i was doing something wrong or being inappropriate... i don't do poly because i am looking to fill cracks in my relationship. i do poly because my relationship is so sound that i am able to look at adding in more fun and a little variety. i do poly because i have one of the biggest hearts any will ever see and my love should be shared...

So we talked... Poly is more about talking and helping each other understand and accept the feelings that we have, or so i have noticed... i was always the clingy one before, but He proved to me that i don't need to cling... He isn't leaving... i guess it is my turn to prove it to Him. i am not going anywhere because He fulfills me. He is amazing and finds others to give me experiences that He doesn't enjoy as much...

Love You Daddy!!

After finally figuring out that the loss of our son was triggering a fear of losing me, we were able to hug it out. Then, right as i slid Daddy's cock into my pussy, the phone rings... And it is Sire, so Daddy answers it and i climb off. One of my last writings upset my Twinsie because it felt like i was saying that things would be easier without her there...

Suddenly, i was sad and angry at the same time. i was sad because i never want to make anyone feel unimportant to me or left out... i was angry because the writing should not have been a surprise and it made me feel like i stepped on some unforeseen land mine. You see, we had talked about the energy being off that night and had discussed the events and feelings that was making that occur while it was happening.

We talked for a while, but it didn't seem to help as she recused herself from the little family we are trying to build. It hurt so bad to hear that she was pulling away, but at the same time, everyone has the right to their feelings and i support everyone i love... Even if it means that i get hurt in the process...

i woke up in the middle of the night to use the potty and was able to read a beautiful message she sent to us that set the world right again as she decided to not take herself away from us...

Love You Twinsie!!

Goodness, it must have been a full moon kind of night... Sigh...

2 comments:

  1. I hate to be this guy, but I was waiting for something like this to happen. It's why I've been quiet when you post about your poly life - I felt like anything I'd say would be false or being a Debbie Downer. I'm not poly, I don't hate on people who are, but I don't understand it fully... how there could not be instances of jealousy, or stepping on toes. You seemed very, very interested in Sire, from the 3rd person perspective, moreso than anyone else. It's probably just New Relationship Energy, but I could definitely see how other partners would get upset.

    I AM glad that you guys worked it all out though. Just because I don't understand it doesn't mean I don't wish you guys all the best.

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    1. Anytime you are making a relationship work, you deal with misunderstandings and jealousy... We are figuring out how to make it work with 5 people and it seems to be going okay.... But we have only just begun, lol...

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