A slave's dilemma

After the amazing date night and the wonderful day with Daddy the next day, one would think i would have been on cloud nine... But in reality, i was struggling and upset. i snapped repeatedly at Daddy. When Sire asked to schedule a date on the Monday after SWLC, i kinda lost my shit and started sending long and erratic text messages.

i just felt like everything was too much and i couldn't find happiness and balance within myself. So, i did what i do and i talked it out with my Loves and my closest friends to see what was going on. My hammer of truth sometimes catches others off guard and can also be pretty blunt, which is why i call it a truth hammer, lol... Sometimes, it even catches me off guard, lol... When i first starting talking, i requested a pump on the breaks to determine why i was freaking over making plans and allowing myself to let go when i am with Sire. When i sent a screenshot of the conversation to Daddy, He was interested in how prepared i was to stop everything to make sure He is always taken care of. i wondered if i deserved the level of freedom i had on my date if Daddy didn't get it as well. i felt like i did when it was happening, but now i wasn't as sure...

The more i talked, the more i realized that i was really upset. My slave heart was upset that my date night went better than my Daddy's date night and i experienced freedom from everything while He was stuck. As a slave, my night should never go better than Daddy's. That night, Daddy had anticipated and expected to get off. When that didn't happen and He was left sexually frustrated, it fucked with my head.

Upon determining that, we decided to discuss how to set up proper expectations so we can plan better. Daddy realized that He needs to set His expectations to match the other person He is hanging with and it would be good. If all else fails, we need to ensure that i am available to come home and fuck Him if He is expecting that and is not getting it. As long as His night goes well, i am comfortable with having my own nights as well.