Letting it go... Pfft...

The picture from the last poem was created on our solo date from this last Friday after talking about the poem Sire wrote for me, the little mermaid caught in his glorious rope. The date night started out rocky though because i was pissed...

You see, getting a sitter lined up is a bitch... My dad, who has been doing a lot of kids watching for me lately got sick, so i had to work my magic and get everything lined up so Daddy could have a solo date with Twinsie, setting myself up on a solo date with Sire... And then life happened and Daddy's date was cancelled... No options, no sense, just cancelled... i started freaking out... i didn't want to cancel on Sire but i also didn't want my Daddy to be home alone.

i called Daddy when i got the cancellation text and He said that my date needed to stand because we don't break plans anymore. i had to put my foot down on plan cancelling after all the shit that went down in September... i notice now how much i changed now... So much change... Nobody even knows... i haven't gotten to the bottom of the changes yet and discover new ways i have changed everyday.

Anyways... So i drove home from work to get my car, since Lola and i carpool, and gave Daddy kisses. i got in my car and cried as i drove. i cried because i was leaving my Master without someone to take care of Him, keep Him happy, and to distract Him while He is out. He loves me so much and needs a good distraction when i am out being a whore because He doesn't really like to think of His wife getting fucked by another man... But He let's me because He loves me and Sire has shown Him how valuable i am in Sire's eyes...

As i got closer to Sire's house, i started to get over my tears and anger filled my mind... How dare she take herself away again! How dare she send a text with some ambiguous cancellation! How dare she hurt Him and make us cry! How dare she!!! So, i called her... i wanted to save my Daddy's night so i could focus on having fun instead of worrying about Him... i told her to call Him and to ask for His help. He loves to help others... and i left it in her hands. i tried to let it go.

Sire could tell i was off... That my energy was way off... i complained before dinner and a little at dinner... i kept trying to shake it. Sire had made me a lovely chicken, asparagus and mushroom dish that was phenomenal! i talked it through with Sire and apologized for the way that i was reacting to these feelings. i wanted to make two people happy at the same time with no way to do it... At the end of the day though, my Daddy told me to enjoy my date and wanted me to focus on Sire and so we set about getting my head in the right place.

Sire tied me on a chair. Tying and untying me with my music in the background and suddenly, letting it go was easy and i was back in our box... Cara Mia, the princess, was back and being worshipped with Sire's rope. i let go and enjoyed the rope and the energy of us. We fucked for an hour after the rope was over. We talked for longer about anything that popped into our thoughts... Deepening our connection...

Then i picked up the boys from the sitter and made our way home. i was horny and fulfilled and ready to fuck my Daddy... But when i arrived home, He was not able to really focus on me... He had too much to drink and smoke in my opinion and was trying to escape the sadness... And i hated her in that moment...