Hope in a BJ

So, yesterday morning at work, I received a text after I got there notifying me that they had sex. I was so grateful that they texted me right away, especially after we had pinky promised the night before.

Upon reading it, my tummy hurt. I thought that it was illogical, but I definitely attributed it to reading the text and requested not to be notified each time they have sex now that I know they are having sex... It made my heart hurt because I am not currently sexually active and I know my Daddy would want to fuck me... then I started thinking about how maybe he didn't want to sleep with me at all cuz he could have that night, and then I have to stop myself from catastrophizing the situation...

They love each other. They were safe. They let me know. Okay, I can breathe.

Then Daddy responded to my writings on this blog and I became very upset. It turns out that he had missed my first posting last week or so about how this new relationship was starting off, so he thought the first thing I wrote was about this mess... thank goodness for open communication!! Once that was explained, I stopped screaming at him in the parking lot... not my proudest moment... I am trying to focus on remaining calm and rational.

Then Daddy reminded me that the in laws were taking the kiddos overnight. So, I started to think about how I wanted the night to go. If we all want it to go positively, then it will! If even one of us didn't want it to work, then it wouldn't... I want it to work.

When I got home, Daddy was doing laundry (immediate way to make this woman horny), and told me to take off my pants. Intrigued, I took them off. Then, he took off the rest of my clothes and picked me up to lay me on the new weight bench he put together that day. He cupped my face in his hands and asked me to belong to him for just this night, so I obliged. Next, he left and then came back with my rope bag... I have floated off to heaven... I know it...

He is turning me into a table when Sweetheart walks in. She looks pleasantly surprised and shared that she thought we hadn't responded to a text she sent because it was going really good or really bad and was hoping for the good. They went out for a smoke and left the table in the living room.

When they came back in, we watched my favorite movie, Mr. Right. It reminds me of myself and the Sir I once had long ago. I couldn't stop laughing!! I was not a very good table...

Then Daddy let me up and we turned Sweetheart into a footstool. I was able to watch just how fast she slipped away into space... he was kicking her and she was moaning... I asked to be able to punch her and I could feel her enjoying herself and then it clicked for me... I want to be happy being me, she wants to be happy being her, and Daddy wants both of us to be happy... win-win-win... we are going to stumble, but as long as we are open and honest in our communication, then this could work for the long haul...

This is the initial dream I wanted when I first stepped in this lifestyle. Is it possible that the universe is actually giving me everything I want if I can just step through this one piece of resistance in my life? I forgive the hurt of having a hard limit broken, and I get everything my heart has desired...
Daddy, doing rope... and doing it well for me because he really doesn't like the alternative...
a beautiful Sweetheart that makes Daddy smile and has the willingness to learn all of me... of which there is a lot...
A family that could band together in strength and love and understanding and honesty.
Amazing friends in a non judgmental lifestyle as we may need that soon...

most tell me that I am overwhelming...

After that, she called me Ma'am, and I felt like I liked that level of respect after feeling disrespected... it appeased a piece of me that was struggling... not in text or anything like that, though... informal, like a pet name... I am not anywhere near wanting to Dom... but I wouldn't mind causing mischief...

Part of the punishment for breaking my limit is that Daddy cannot have sex with me for 2 weeks. Anyone that has fucked me knows that I have a succubus pussy... believe me... he is missing it... So as a thank you for the amazing play, I asked Sweetheart to give him a BJ.

He became concerned about my feelings, but I told him I needed to see it... I am working through exposure therapy (thank you psychology degree) for myself as I feel it is the most effective method to take my power back in this situation... I struggled a little at first, but not as much as the last time, and that made me happy. Made me hope.