Ran for Epilepsy today... Didn't cry, cuz thankfully, I was able to run next to a mom with a son in a stroller who reminded me of my son and kept a smile on my face... But oh God, did I miss my boy... The jingle of my ears as I ran helped too... The purple ears were always his favorite...
Did some businessing... Then came home... Got into another thing with princess...
This lil princess broke my rules, crossed my lines again with her stupid lies over stupid shit and now I'm the one that is reacting wrong... I am not giving her the chances to improve the way she wants them. My best to get through this isn't good enough... And I just can't stop crying... Internally, externally... My heart hurts... My tummy hurts... My head hurts...
And now... Well now I just feel like a failure... I am failing her as a person to look up to... I am failing my Master because He feels like I am being too mean and too rude... I am failing myself because I feel like I should be able to rise above this... I need to be kinder and happier...
She says she understands... how do I believe that?
This lil princess broke my rules, crossed my lines again with her stupid lies over stupid shit and now I'm the one that is reacting wrong... I am not giving her the chances to improve the way she wants them. My best to get through this isn't good enough... And I just can't stop crying... Internally, externally... My heart hurts... My tummy hurts... My head hurts...
And now... Well now I just feel like a failure... I am failing her as a person to look up to... I am failing my Master because He feels like I am being too mean and too rude... I am failing myself because I feel like I should be able to rise above this... I need to be kinder and happier...
She says she understands... how do I believe that?
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