It’s been difficult to write, which is why it has been so long… not that my life hasn’t been full of fun activities… I have 2 amazing and wonderful riggers, PapaBear and I have really continued to grow closer together, and his girlfriend is such a great woman! Life is blessed and I have been so wrapped up in the experience that I feel elevated on the daily… but every time I have tried to write, I can’t even get a full sentence… It hasn’t felt right… obvi, that has changed, cuz look at all these sentences!!
This last Thursday, after yoga, I was bitching to one of my riggers about how I just really wanted/needed to beat someone’s ass… I’ve been feeling very unsatisfied with only one area in my life… the sexual side… My pussy is very satisfied with the fuckmonster I have, but for any kinky person that has been having Vanilla style sex only for a while, it has gotten boring and I don’t really feel “turned on”…
Usually, the things that satisfy me from a kinky perspective are rope, rules, structure, and discipline… recently, though, my rope has moved to a friendly playing style and I got really tired finally of managing myself to rules that I created with the knowledge of what my spouse enjoys… It was fun while I could do it, but I’m just done with dominating myself into submission and I’m not really in the mood to listen to others without a lot of time and work in advance.
Our conversation turned a little into the explanation of my sadistic dominant side and that I have friends that will let me beat them, but that in and of itself isn’t a huge turn on for me… it’s the reward and punishment system, the rules and enforcement of said rules…the beating someone for something cuz they are in trouble, not just for fun, that actually excites me… and he said that made him twitch a little bit, which made me giggle.
Don’t get me wrong… we’ve had conversations… so many conversations… all the way back to June/July of 2022 when we first started chatting about kinks and proclivities (9 months ago is like an eternity in this day and age, lol)… but he is soo similar to my PapaBear in personality that I placed him in the platonic friends only category… I love my Brat Daddy, but I can only handle soo much bratty attitude in my life… so when he messaged me later after he got home safe, he really piqued my interests… and now I’ve got a completed questionnaire and a discussion planned for Monday evening that will also include a blow job because he is showing up to hike with me and taking care of my toys gets rewards… and the fact that he woke up early today already has me revved… hahahaha…
What if I allow him to be mine? What if the universe sent us to each other? What if…
No comments:
Post a Comment