Oh my goodness, yesterday was so busy, it was crazy...We went to a Kink Karnival, which was so fun. We saw demonstrations on caning, flogging, whipping, electric play, and the fire wand. Turns out, Papa Bear is just in love with the Violet Wand... as soon as He is working and we have extra funding, He is going to purchase one. i am not sure that i will ever get used to being shocked, but i am ecstatic that He found something to be passionate about and am more than willing to help Him explore more.
After the event, we went out to eat and then went to Castle Megastore to take a look at the new remodeled store and take a look at the new merchandise. We had fun and were helped by a wonderfully knowledgeable girl who seemed to want to play... This could have been a part of her sales technique or maybe she was interested. i know that Papa Bear really wants a threesome, but i became really nervous and basically ran away from the conversation... i felt really bad, so when we got home, i called the store, got her name, and left my name and number for contact. When she called back, my nerves kicked back in and i felt like a damn teenager asking for a date... i don't think it went well, but i guess we will see...
i felt really sick afterwards and went to bed early. Papa Bear and i talked about it and He said my nerves just got to me and to not worry because we would take it slow... now that it is really real, i am running into an issue... i love my Papa Bear and want to give Him everything... i don't really want to share myself with anyone but Him on a sexual level... but that is what He wants... sometimes being a slave is so hard... i am ready to do whatever He requires, but am also afraid that this particular act will break me... and i am already so broken... hopefully, He will help me pick the pieces back up again...
I am sorry that you are going through this. I know that if it were me, I would be insecure too, or afraid that somehow the other person would attract my Sir away from me.
ReplyDeleteSir has actually had a threesome in the past, before we were dating, and it turned out that his girlfriend at the time ran away with the other girl in the threesome! The girls are now married, and though Sir is happy for them, it does make him paranoid about group sex type situations.
As far as electro goes, have you ever used a TENS unit? It can be quite pleasant, and there is an ability to use it on a low or high setting.
Thanks for the comment. It is difficult, but we will make our way through it like we always do. i am sure i am making a big deal out of nothing and that it could even be fun or nice if He had a second slave that i could also talk to... i definitely wouldn't be running away with the other girl ;-)
DeleteWe haven't used the tens unit.. just the neon wand... the tens unit contacts the muscles while the end sends a zap to the skin... how do you like the tens unit for play?
I haven't used a tens for play yet. Ive used it for physical therapy, but we WANT to get a unit and incorporate it into our play. I really liked the unit when used in a medical setting, and I'm sure it will still be great in a non-medical state. It has a dial so it can be low and relaxing or higher and intense. Depending on yoru needs, or depending on his mood, it adds a lot of versatility. And, you can get a cheap one at CVS.
ReplyDeleteMakes sense. i have had them used on me by the chiropractor and usually have to go up higher in intensity, because i just can't feel the lower intensities...
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