i told Papa Bear of my frustrations last night and we talked and spanked it out... He is so protective of me! He wants to see me be happy and is helping me remember that i am not perfect. i have flaws... lots of them... but not more than any other person... so we will work on those together.
The spankings were to assist with building up the pain tolerance. i actually have little bruises this time, which has never happened before, so i am glad i could take it. He told me to hold still and to shut up... i find that without that direction and His look of warning, i cry too fast and it all becomes very dramatic for me...This time, i focused on being quiet and the focus and the spankings slipped me into sub space... yay!! i love being there and wish i could stay forever... sigh... We used both crops that we have, His hand, and that stupid electric wand. i think He is reserving the belt for punishments, but i am not sure...
Today, we are going to a kinky event, then to a vanilla event, then to who knows where... Papa Bear has been talking about the strip club, but i think He also said we don't have money for it... maybe, we will just figure out a place to hang. Also, for those interested, i am now on fetlife. Same handle, so look me up if you are interested.
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