So... We recently started a new regimen to help with my tendency to overeat or randomly eat things that are not good for me in secret... Papa Bear is now giving me permission to eat meals and snacks. At first, we were just going to use it as a way to stop me because i won't usually eat something if i have to think about it, but now it is turning into something bigger... Papa Bear has taken the reigns and is using this permission to determine what i can eat, how much i can eat, and to stop me from indulging... Can i say that i love it?!!!!
A lot of the things that we do are usually suggestions i make and ideas i come up with... Who better to think of an appropriate punishment or a new plan of action than the slave that is encountering issues? i also read an exorbitant amount of blogs and literature about M/s and TPE, so Papa Bear uses that expertise to help develop ideas for new things. Some things that i bring up are immediately shot down, some are taken into consideration, and others are implemented.
Once implemented in their original form, Papa Bear will tweak and adjust the idea until it works for us.
One thing i have noticed already is that i am constantly in a different headspace... Not really sub space, but not really my normal headspace either... Kind of somewhere in between a dream and reality... It is an interesting feeling to live and walk around in a dream type mentality... Not bad, just different...
i am a little worried about this state of mind because we took that class on end of life preparation. i worry that Papa Bear will leave me stuck in a dream type state with no one to tell me i can eat, so i just continue going until i die of starvation... Sigh... i know that wouldn't happen because we have already talked about Him setting up a Dom to watch over me until i am back on my feet, but i am a worrier sometimes... i am also a little weird sometimes to, lol...
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