Service with a smile

Last night was almost perfect... almost...

Getting ready to go was a hectic ordeal, but also a lot of fun at the same time. Then, we went out to eat and got the same waiter as Sir and I had long ago. This time, Daddy, and 4 women at the table. Dinner was great and then we were off to party.

At the party, Daddy did a hip harness on me at the beginning. He tied my wrist to my hip. I was able to walk around the party a bit on my own. I went to say hi to Sire , but he was in the middle of a whipping scene.

Then, we set up for Sweetheart's birthday spankings. People came to give her spankings and I was granted 2 of them. As she was getting spanked, Ma'am came to me. I was able to get her a water in service, which felt good. I truly enjoy serving her... she always puts me a little off center...

As everyone dissipated from the birthday spankings, Sire started on an amazing water suspension and he allowed me to assist. His model liked my smile and made me blush with his compliments. I appreciate the friendship we will hopefully keep. I was able to also take some fantastic pics for him using his phone.

After the suspension was in place, I went to find Daddy and Sweetheart. As I was walking to find them, Ma'am asked if I could basically be her fire monitor to ensure she didn't burn her clothes during her performance. I said I would love to and would just need to inform Daddy. She went about getting everything ready.

I found Daddy and Sweetheart in the playroom with the fan and she was giving him a BJ. I ran in, told them of my plan for assisting in fire play, then went back out.

While waiting to assist Ma'am, Sire inquired on assistance with undoing the water suspension. I was able to assist with untying the suspension points on the left side of the pool while he undid the ones on the right. Then, Ma'am was ready for me and I was able to watch her whole performance virtually uninterrupted. It was beautiful. Her hands holding flame. The flame dancing around her arms and torso.

An amazing party with me running around in service... made me so happy to feel useful and appreciated.

Then it was done and it was time to go... we drove straight home, which usually doesn't happen, but we had been prepared with some snack alternatives. Once home, Daddy grabbed me really hard by the hair and pulled. I asked him to be more gentle and he said fine, and let go.

I think that this is when the jealous and shitty feelings started to hook in again. He doesn't really need to work on how he behaves with me anymore now that he has a girl who can take what he wants to give. I think it makes me feel inadequate. Then, he offered to flog me since he was already going to be flogging her... and my head said... wait, don't say yes right away... watch...

I said I would think about it... then he talked to her about flogging and she suggested interspersing this one flogger that was stingier with the other floggers. He took the stingier flogger and just hit her over and over, harder and harder. My brain went into high alert mode and I knew that a yes would mean another failed flogger session for us. I just didn't want that frustration to be compared to how well it went with her.

I kinda felt like an old toy that isn't as much fun to play with anymore... like sex is really the only thing he gets from me that he is interested in... yes, he is trying more with rope, but there are so many other types of play I like too and it hurt to see my toys used on Sweetheart when they are not used on me.

I waited for their session to finish and then told them that I didn't like it. I told them that it hurt my feelings to see him play with her in ways he wasn't really willing to play with me in. He said that he was willing since he offered and I reminded him that I can't take a lot and he usually gets frustrated when I ask him to slow down or not hit as hard.

I was frustrated... and I am sure it came across that way... It was a rough way to end a great night... I am starting to notice feelings of jealousy, which I have not really encountered before...