Strange Couple

Tired of fucking myself with dildos, I decided to take a break today... I used that time to go see my Sire. I hate driving, but his body was too sore from the night before for him to want to drive to get me. So I offered a massage and drove over to connect. He texted about how strange of a couple we are, that I would seek him out to give my pussy a break...

I hadn’t really thought of it like that... I hadn’t seen our relationship as strange, but I guess I can understand that perspective... It is definitely different from relationships I have had in the past. Usually, I throw my pussy into the ring right away... but I mean, vaginal sex just doesn’t hold appeal to me... it was just something I thought I needed to do to satisfy the man I love so he wouldn’t leave me (abandonment issues on lock)...

Sometimes, I start to wonder if I’m asexual, but then my good feels around BJs, fingering, and anal tell me that the act of sex is just something I find uncomfortable... kind of like having my pussy eaten. I wonder if my childhood trauma has fucked up my mental and emotional feelings surrounding vaginal play. It makes me feel like the recent abuse uncovery has impacted me much deeper than I originally realized. I also used to fantasize about eating pussy, but now, the thought creeps me out...

So ya... I guess I am strange... any relationship with me will be strange, I guess...

Wasn’t planning on writing all that, lol, but apparently I hit a pocket of feeling. I love when it pours out like that and I have to read what I wrote to understand my own feelings, lol... (eye roll with sarcasm on that last sentence)...

Anyways, so I got to Sire’s and lit a bowl. Then, I gave him my famous back rub and worked out some knots in his lower back. After, we cuddled and made out. He told me of his fart box tongue punch trophy and I told him about working through my childhood abuse. He talked of how he could write me more and I would love that. I am hoping as I continue down this path, I can love everything about who I am and truly heal through acceptance of myself. After a while, it was time for me to go back home.

Playtime for Mistress Foxy

My dogs started barking and I knew he was here... I slipped on my 7-inch stilettos and walked over to the door, dressed in a black leather Domme style corset and a black tutu... no panties...

When I opened it, my boy looked happy and ready. It had been weeks since I played with him last and he fills a need for me that I don’t even understand... I love taking the time to massage his body and warm him up before I play... I also feel like his body craves a kind and gentle touch... love and peace and caring, wrapped in the warmth of my hands and my ass... My boy groans face down as I press my ass cheeks into the small of his back and the sounds get me wet... Knowing that my comfort brings him such peace in his otherwise restless world makes me feel good and let’s my body relax more. The music I have on starts turning me on more... sexy music makes me feel sexy...

I rolled him over and tied down his hands and made him watch as I massaged his feet with my pussy and ass in view, lightly moving to the beat of the music... framed by the tutu, he commented on the beauty of the sight and that is when I should have sat on his face!!!! But I didn’t even think about it cuz I’m used to all my men having facial hair, lol... so instead, I blindfolded him and started to play...

First, I tied up his cock with my rainbow rope, lol... I love the pinks and purples that show as I smack, scratch, cane, and wartenburg wheel his cock and balls... I love the noises he makes... I love switching it up with this purple feather I have that makes him relax until I catch him by surprise again... I was extra bratty with it today because he got sick the last time we were supposed to hang out. His cock looked tortured and enflamed, so I pulled the rope off hard and quick (visual of a cock jerking and spasming as the rope unwinds... always cracks me up).

Next, I unfastened a leg, crossed it over his body and tied his ankle to his wrist. Then, I took my anal toy, lubed it up and started to fuck him with it. When his chest shuttered, I lubed my hand and played with his cock... he told me he was going to cum, so I quickly stuck the tip in my mouth to drink the cum... then, I sucked a lil longer as he begged me to stop... it was too sensitive... lol... well, next time, don’t make me wait so long to play, fucker 😜

Then I untied him and we talked and connected... shared space and time for those moments... and then he had to go... back to his busy world... while I went back to mine and got a mani-pedi... oh the life of an owned fox. So thankful that my Master Daddy lets me play with others, especially when it comes to the things He doesn’t enjoy 😁

Morning Daddy!!

So my Daddy Master started a new job yesterday and it felt amazing to step back into our routine. It felt refreshing and good to follow a morning routine to help my hubby go support our family. We have started implementing rules and behaviors again to help me get back to the woman I want to be.

I wake up an hour before him and get showered before doing a meditation. After I make sure his clothes are ready for the day, I start blowing him to wake him up gently without an alarm. Get him off and then over to the shower. While he showers, I make him a yummy egg burrito and a sandwich for lunch. After his shower, I get to help him dress and get ready for his day.

Once he goes to work, I kinda feel a little lost and a little anxious and a little strange, but that will dissipate as I figure things out... I now kind of feel like the stay at home housewife I have kind of always wanted to be... how do I be the best housewife for my family now that my hubby and our girlfriend both work outside the home?! I need to learn so much about taking care of a home!

Enjoying the Scenic Route

I have never taken my time with a man... until now... and I am so grateful that my Sire allows me this blessing of really enjoying all of the pieces of innocence to abandon... but I feel like some kind of explanation is needed as to my choices in my life right now on this scenic route with him. 

I have recently been exploring taking back my vagina... 

You see, as a very small child, I was repeatedly molested and abused... and when I got to adolescence, I quickly gave my ‘virginity’ away to my first long term boyfriend the first time he asked for it... then, as an adult, I serially fucked every man (pretty much) on the first date.... so there was never a chase... a courting period... a romance... I gave everything away so quickly to those around me that I often was hurt and taken advantage of... my opinions were disregarded and my limits were broken... I recently found out that this abuse went far deeper than I remembered and new memories surfaced causing me to seek chastity to reclaim myself...

Chastity?!? The sexy fox that fucks and sucks with a passion that is insane... yes... extreme trauma sometimes calls for extreme measures to force healing... Do we know me as someone to wait for things to unfold naturally when I can help it along? No... I didn’t think so.

After setting up my perfect plan for Master to be cared for, I started my chastity exploration... and then, the plan wasn’t so perfect... 

I love my Master dearly and have given away many things to ensure his happiness in this life... With the plan not working, I made myself available for fucking again as needed. It is my duty as his wife and slave to ensure that he is well taken care of and can cum regularly. I was able to have 1.5 months of chastity before I offered myself back to my Master. I am not really ready from an emotional level to explore love + sex at this time and honestly, my pussy doesn’t get excited by it... I am way more excited by the tease and a blowjob than I am by the act of sex. 

I am so blessed to have someone who will turn me into his dirty little whore and fuck me until I don’t feel like I exist because of the space He lays me into. Thank you Master, for accepting my submission and taking what you need from me. It makes me happy to serve you in this way!

I am so blessed to have someone who will let me revel in what feels the most amazing to my body until I feel like the only thing that exists because of the space he lifts me into. Thank you Sire, for accepting my dominance and giving me what I need. It makes me happy to be served in this way!

Healthy happy balance... and through balance, comes healing... in my experience.

Penis Rope

So... I tied up my Daddy’s dick with this rope I had and he did not like it... lol...

My Twisted Head

My head is suddenly twisted... I am falling through my thoughts... trying to open the doors in my head and heart to be the best version of me... writing usually unlocks these for me, so here I am...

After an amazing rope session with my Sire, I got back home and suddenly felt sad and lost... maybe unfulfilled... my submissive side is craving a truly dominant influence now that my dominant side has been satiated through my control in my relationship with Sire... so I snuggled into my Daddy... knowing that I needed something, but not knowing what I needed at the time... I am only now able to articulate my feelings by sitting down and writing about it now, lol... that is so frustrating but also enlightening...

I told him that I needed Him and he choked me out... and that helped... a little with the tension that was building in my head... when I start fighting with myself, my migraines flair... but it wasn’t what I needed... and unfortunately, I don’t know what I need!! I just can’t figure it out and I am past frustrated with it...

Maybe I need a good beating or some orders to follow... maybe I need to beat some ass... maybe I wish my protective side would stay away cuz I am so safe that she isn’t needed.... maybe I just need to feel safe... that made my eyes tear up, so that’s a step in a direction... fuck...

Memory lane

It’s so hard to live in the present right now... with the wonderful reminders that social media provides, I am walking down a memory lane from hell... 3 years ago, I watched my sons life come to a close... today, three years ago, is when I found out that my son was not going to make it... today was the day that I found out that we were out of viable options to save him... I spent the first 30 minutes of today crying...

But life keeps moving... a blessing and a curse... and I’ve got to dry my eyes, get my toys, and prepare myself to play with a bunch of freaky friends online... the life of a cam girl...