Thank You Master

 “Say ‘Thank You, Master’”

“Thank You, Master,” I whisper as his cock grazes against the pucker of my soft, tight asshole.

“God, you’re so soft, my little doll…”

“Thank You, Master,” I groan into the bed as his cock slides in a little… “Is that Your home, Master?”

He chuckles. “That’s the door to My Home… now be a good little anal slut for me, doll. Be my slutty little anal fuckdoll…”

“Yes, Master.” I relax and breathe as his spit slicked cock slides slowly into the open door that has become my asshole. I sigh and lean in as he groans and thrusts his hips. He fucks me in a soft and slow motion, working his way in. Suddenly, my body starts to vibrate as an orgasm starts to erupt within and before I know it, I am cumming hard. 

“Thank You, Master.”

“Yes!” He growls as he continues to ram his hard cock into my now gaping asshole. I can feel my ass grip and release his cock, trying to milk him as he continues to thrust. His cock sliding in and out is hitting the right spot with the right rhythm and my body starts to cum again. This time, the anal orgasm rips through and my asshole clenches around his cock. 

“Thank You, Master.”

I’m sure he says something back, but I’m too far away to hear. The world is dark and soft and safe. The motion is flowing and we are no longer two separate beings, but one connected sexual energy. My body relaxes and opens to his rhythm and our bodies cum in unison. His body shuddering as mine softens to accept all of him.

Shooting Stars

 Man oh man oh man...

So, last night was out of this world for me... it was our first play date... and while we had seen each other scene, lol, this would be different as our relationship recently blossomed from best friends to girlfriends and this would be the first time where our main play style would be determined... as a switch, I tend to mirror my partner... if they are submissive and laid back, I am usually dominant and in charge... if they are dominant and confident, I am happy and grounded in my submissive space. 

Oh did we play... she showed me all her toys and I showed her all of mine... but let’s not get ahead of myself... 

It all started with getting “dressed” for date night. She tied me in rope and put me in piggy tails... when my Daddy went to get Chinese food for the night with his girl, she brought me into the bathroom and put me on my knees and i swooned... quite literally fell head over heels in that moment... I have always adored this woman... but to have her place me on my knees to brush my hair into piggy tails...  I was lost... and then her hubby walked in and all of a sudden my head fell into a naughty lil girl space... wanting to suck Daddy’s cock while Mommy put my hair in piggy tails... mmmmm... kinky dirty thoughts made me wet... He patted my head I think and maybe called me a good girl.. lost in my own fantasy, I legit can’t recall... but I do know that his cock did not enter my mouth... lol... at least not then...

The rope work was beautiful. It was a little loose, but it felt so good having her energy wrapped around me. I started to feel connected to the rope... touching it, pulling it, leaning into it, gripping it... I just had such a great time lost in her rope... then Daddy got back with the Chinese food and we all sat down to eat, with me in my rope and piggy tails... mmmmm

After eating is when we got to the toy exchange I started with. My girl has a lot of impact toys... like a lot... she is a sadist and a masochist... I am more of a sadist and a sensualist, but I do love to endure play time for my partner as a sort of service bottom, if they are into that sort of thing and can be patient... she asked to collar me and had me kneel before her to accept her collar after the toys were chosen... then, she applied the blindfold and then the next level of play began. So far, she is definitely in charge and I really enjoyed learning her top style. All the impact... varying swings... the cane was the only one that I couldn’t take more of... holding onto the wall for a good amount of it. My ass bruised right away... marks showing prominently by the end of the night.

After the impact play is when she gave me the Shooting stars... it took my eyes a moment to adjust to the light once the blindfold was removed... and she had the tiny little star wand in her hand to use on me... when it hits, it leaves a beautiful little star marking. She gave me one and then checked with me to see if I could do more... I think I nodded , but I may have said yes... everything has such a blurry vibe as I think back on it... ever since the rope was tied... it was such a good blurry... and it only hurt a little... she made a row of stars on each of my tits...  the last one was the most painful, but she had me breathing through the hits and that helped so much! When we were done, I was so proud of myself for every hit I had taken. I felt floaty and happy and so freaking hungry...

Thank goodness for the Chinese buffet PapaBear brought home because I was famished! I went to the kitchen to make myself a plate and then starting thinking about sucking her hubby’s cock again... I looked over at them from the kitchen and asked if I was still going to get my blowjob... then, I shared a little about my naughty fantasy from earlier, so my gorgeous girl took us to the bathroom so I could get some cum. On my knees, on the floor, sucking his cock as she took pictures... this was then moved to the bed after PapaBear came back into the house. He had been out front with his girl.

My mouth had started to go numb as he fucked my face and I could feel my PapaBear’s hands on my thighs, making me so wet. I could feel my body clenching as he grew deeper into my throat... and when he came, I swallowed every drop. Tasted so yummy... felt so spoiled... rope and dress up and cum... 

At bedtime, PapaBear folded me in half and fucked me so hard and so deep... and I was even able to take that better too... headspace and mindset are everything... I may not be a slave right now, but I am still a switchy lil rope whore who craves cum... and I am surrounded by many who love these lil bits of me.

Dissolution or The Glorious Quiet

It’s so quiet in my head that I can finally hear my own thoughts without all the extra interference... I didn’t know it could be this quiet... I mean I thought I knew... before integration started... before all the doors where opened... but that was years ago and I think there was always an edge in those thoughts in those days...

But now... now it’s so silent... I can go without a single thought for good chunks of time... fuck thinking... so much of my time was lost to overthinking and thinking and 4-7 different people using the same mental machine at times for more thinking... but now it’s me... and I know it because I’ve looked... I have listened... I have asked my questions and waited for their input... in meditation, I have weirdly walked around the gathering room at the table in my mind and they are nowhere to be found... it’s just me... all alone in a huge room with a bunch of empty chairs...

And it is so glorious. I am exploring my world and have found that my life is pretty fucking amazing... somehow, I was able to weather the loss of a son and inspire others to be themselves... somehow, I was able to make all my dreams come true when it comes to owning a home, supporting my family, and having a job I love and a hobby I can eventually retire on... somehow, while trapped within the grief and depression in my own mind, my foxy friends jumped out and protected me and created my beautiful life... and I am so fucking grateful while also noting some things that have to change to fit me, now that my eyes are open again...

It took a shit ton of personal work and a bunch of herbs to resolve/dissolve all the little lives I somehow built within to function through my traumas... and those little lives were so vast and managed so many things... But now, it’s just me... and while I am vast like an ocean, I prefer the solitude within my lighthouse... I prefer to direct and guide than being out in the fray... to build a life, you must be out in the fray... to maintain a life is so much less arduous, lol... I still have a little building left to do... I’m not all the way out of the fray, not completely... but I know I’m getting close.

The block

 I haven’t been able to write... I have had experiences, oh man, have I... but I just haven’t been able to write the experiences down... I haven’t wanted to... I am not sure why I just started again now, lol... but it feels good to stretch this muscle... it feels good to type out my thoughts again... my soul has been missing it without me knowing... 

I am really interested to see where I go and what I share. I have shifted yet again and have released some things that has allowed me to release the block... hello again ❤️🦊

Writing

The need to write is in my bones!! I’ve been feeling it pretty hardcore lately, but I just don’t know what to write or what I want to share... so here I am... working this muscle again... sometimes, it starts out so small... but then, a rolling stone will always gather the moss... let’s see where this goes and what my crazy butt decides to share this time...

To slave or not to slave

Writing has been in the back burner for a while... surprisingly had a new business opportunity fall into my lap that I had to jump on and it has taken so much of my effort, it is insane but I love it... on another note, my life is pretty simple and happy right now... the drama is at an all time low. The only thing is that I have been feeling so needy/clingy lately... wanting to hold onto my Daddy... wanting Him to take ownership again, but not knowing if I will be able to submit... now that I have re-established my trust in Him (only took me about a year after the Princess left our lives), maybe I could give myself to Him again. Maybe i could defer... submit... slave...

I really enjoyed belonging to Him and being His. I feel like He loved it when I only thought of Him... how to please Him, how to serve Him, how to become and create all that He wanted in me... all that I wanted from myself to be a good wife to Him and mother to my precious boys... when giving yourself to another, wholly like that, trust is so necessary... I now know that He truly loves me and would choose me first. What happened before will never happen again. Lessons learned... now, to Slave or not to Slave... that is the question... I feel like it would benefit me tremendously to place myself back under His care and for me to request punishment for fucking up in things... I need to grow... and force has always helped me grow... fear doesn’t work anymore as I am not afraid... proving others wrong doesn’t work anymore cuz I just don’t give a fuck enough about what others think... hmmmmm... am I ready to hurt so I can reach my goals? Lol

Interesting New Friend

I met a new friend today... but this wasn’t the first time I saw him... that was yesterday as I drove into work... he was pulling weeds maybe... out in front of his sister’s house... I remember because I waved and he stopped what he was doing and stared... I am kinda used to that, so I just kinda ignored it, but apparently it stands out in my brain... I wonder what the relevance of that moment is... anywho...

Today, like most Fridays, I took my youngest out to the bus. I was in a pair of my jammas, which consisted of a white tank top, striped soft pants, and no bra/panties. I have a friend who chats with me each morning as we wait for our kids to get on the bus together and today, she was walking towards me with the man I saw pulling weeds the other day. They were talking and smiling as they walked up and she introduced him as her brother. That immediately lowered my guard, cuz she is a dear friend of mine... he seemed quirky and interesting... he had an oil spot colored bike... he was funny... I just love making new friends!

After the kiddos get on the bus, her and I chat a bit as she was heading out of town, just like me... she headed home and I sat on the patio with my Relaxation Tea and my cannabis... medicating and relaxing so I could go to bed when my oldest left for school... working late nights has been a bitch on my sleep schedule! As I light up a bowl, I see her brother ride by on a bike... then, my dogs start barking and I see him at the end of my driveway, asking for a lighter, lol... so I go and give him a light and we chat. He was very blunt and forward, which I enjoyed and we had a wonderful time connecting on my patio... I wonder how this friendship will blossom... it feels like it is on purpose... and he left his shades, so I know I will see him again... but when?