Oh my goodness! Tonight, my Daddy and I played so hard and had such amazing sex. He was so proud of how I handled myself at yoga today that we got to do a little DD/lg play!! First, while Daddy was on the toilet, I was getting stuff ready for bed in some cute lil booty shorts in the bathroom, so he called me over to him so he could bite my butt... the other day, Daddy found out that even though I complain, whine, and cry when I’m bitten, it still makes me very very wet... this fact is helping him push past his fear of hurting me... that along with me saying “Owwwww... is not a safe word”, I think, lol... anyways, when he started to bite my lil ass, his dick got hard and popped out of the toilet... he said something about how he wasn’t going to be able to pee anymore and I turned and looked down to see his big cock sitting on the rim... so what did I do?
Well, naturally what any dirty lil girl will do... I dropped to all fours and started sucking his cock (I think it’s called a rusty trombone)... when he shoved it all the way down my throat, I gagged and my back arched, which got him even harder... then he stood up and shoved his dick all the way down my throat until I threw up a lil of the spaghetti I ate earlier... Daddy admonished me for wasting food, lol, and told me I was a naughty dirty lil girl, at which point, I fell into my little space. Daddy helped me to my feet and snuggled me against his chest... when we went back out to the living room, he held me while we watched some shows...
Later that night, he started biting my shoulder and as I whimpered, he slipped his cock into my already wet pussy. He bit and fucked me while I held my hands over my mouth for a good while before he pulled out and decided to play with my juicy pussy. He started fingering it hard and sucking on the tips of my nipples to make me squirt repeatedly... honestly, I can’t tell you how many times I squirted. What I can say is that Daddy slept in two puddles I made on the bed later and gave me high fives for being his messy lil babygirl when it happened. He even corrected my reaction when I saw the first puddle and said “Oh no!” and shifted me to saying “Oh look!” instead so we could celebrate instead of it sounding like a bad thing. One of the squirts was so big that it splashed all over Daddy and all over me!!
As Daddy was cleaning up, he told me he was definitely gonna have to take me to the doctor to find out why our bellies sweat pussy smelling juices while we fuck and I just could not stop laughing. He was talking like he was a Daddy that didn’t know what a clitoris was and like he was the doctor trying to explain squirting to someone that hadn’t heard of it before... and it just hit all the right giggle buttons. After he soaked up a lot of my juices with paper towels, he put them on his face and said he was chloroforming hinself with my pussy juices, then started to sway like he was gonna fall over!! I used my feet to push him to either side to make sure he didn’t fall to the left or the right... at which point, the giggles took hold again.
Once I stopped giggling, he laid down, so I started to suck on his pussy drenched cock... it tasted so yummy! He asked if I wanted my foxhole, and as I climbed between his legs, he told Alexa to play raindrops on a tin roof, our new favorite sleepy time noise. As I sucked his cock, I started to fall asleep to the sounds of the rain and his snores... when he woke me up so I could move to my side of the bed, his dick had fallen out of my mouth and his leg had fallen asleep where my head was laying as I sucked his cock... lol...
I’m writing this before I go to bed so I don’t forget a single amazing detail... I took pain and cried and Daddy pushed past the wide eyes and sad noises to help me take what he needs... it was like before... when we started this journey and it was the best sex I have ever had because I am free and happy to enjoy our love! I am so grateful for my Daddy. He makes me feel good about being messy, dirty, slutty, whorish, and naughty. He loves every bit of me as I love every bit of him... even the bites 😘
Sunday, December 30, 2018
Saturday, December 29, 2018
Pain and Anger
Another year and another holiday season without my sweet boy in my arms... he would be 10 right now... I have cried so much over the last few days that it hurts and I feel broken... and with my Daddy struggling through his own issues and depression right now, he hasn’t really been able to put me back together. We usually cling to each other during these times, but his hurt is too great and I am now a visual reminder of some bad choices that were made because of what he wanted, so he is now even trying to find an escape from me... Seeing him that way ignites an angry hateful hellfire within me that cannot be quenched. Well... I’m sure it could... probably by the blood of the igniting force... but jail time is not something I want in this life... I guess I should thank my dad... if I hadn’t made that promise to myself long ago, because he was always in jail, then I would have gone right before Thanksgiving... lol...
But I’m not the type to get physical... I actually feel like it’s rude to hurt someone physically unless they are asking for it... And I mean literally asking for it... not asking for it by being a big asshole or blatant liar... legit asking for me to hurt you... some of me wants to hurt someone else to see if that would release my own pain and anger... Daddy says part of what hurts him is who I have become in the process... I’m harder, sharper, more aggressive, and less forgiving now... if there is something I could do to go back to being sunshine, maybe it would help... but what I am afraid of is that I’ll like hurting others and fall all the way into my darkness... that the joy I’ll feel will make me want to do it more and more... I just want to see if I can pour all of this pain into another... I’m too tired to want to deal with it anymore... I’m so tired of being the sunshine... but I’m scared because I know there is a dark bitch inside me that is itching to come out and take control...
But I’m not the type to get physical... I actually feel like it’s rude to hurt someone physically unless they are asking for it... And I mean literally asking for it... not asking for it by being a big asshole or blatant liar... legit asking for me to hurt you... some of me wants to hurt someone else to see if that would release my own pain and anger... Daddy says part of what hurts him is who I have become in the process... I’m harder, sharper, more aggressive, and less forgiving now... if there is something I could do to go back to being sunshine, maybe it would help... but what I am afraid of is that I’ll like hurting others and fall all the way into my darkness... that the joy I’ll feel will make me want to do it more and more... I just want to see if I can pour all of this pain into another... I’m too tired to want to deal with it anymore... I’m so tired of being the sunshine... but I’m scared because I know there is a dark bitch inside me that is itching to come out and take control...
Wednesday, December 26, 2018
Playtime with a Doll
The only thing that would have made tonight better is if our new friend could have stayed longer. Our 2nd play party since the big break-up and it was a million times better than the first one... for one thing, I brought all the right things! I remembered a blanket and a towel as well as all of our toys!! We had a rope bag (my thing), an electric bag (his thing), and our big play bag. I also remembered to bring food and drink, which I forgot last time... so all in all better planning.
We got to the party at the start as we normally do... I figure, the sooner we get there, the sooner we can play... we cannot use some of our toys at home cuz they are loud and we have children, so play parties give us that opportunity. I started off by getting flogged on the cross again, but this time I even took the big black flogger AND I even got BRUISES!!!! It was so fun!!
Then, Daddy roped me all up... in Christmas colors, so I got a cute lil photo shoot with me in Christmas rope!! As he was tying me, our new friend messaged as did the ex that they were both on the way... thank goodness it wasn’t really awkward as the timing was absolutely perfect! I told Daddy and put on my onesie as our new friend walked in. I gave her a hug and walked past to the door, opening it to a brat face and an urge that I had to control...
I had to get stuff over to the ex, but thankfully, the new friend was there to distract Daddy while I gave the ex back her things in a Christmas bag outside at the car... her new guy complimented my onesie as I walked back to the door and I caught myself before allowing a flood of garbage to flow out of my mouth and thanked him... what can I say... it’s been about a month and I’m still agitated about the whole thing, but whatevs... I’m a big girl and can be respectful and polite to anyone.
Once I got back inside, I recommended that we play with the electric... I know, I know... what am I thinking to ask for electric?! But I figured, we already played the other ways... also, I was honestly curious if she would like it, since it is Daddy’s fave type of play, not mine... I was pleasantly surprised as the noises she made while being electrified were adorable and erotic at the same time... I have a feeling that we will have a lot of fun with this one... and I’ve not seen my Daddy smile that big in a lil while.
We got to the party at the start as we normally do... I figure, the sooner we get there, the sooner we can play... we cannot use some of our toys at home cuz they are loud and we have children, so play parties give us that opportunity. I started off by getting flogged on the cross again, but this time I even took the big black flogger AND I even got BRUISES!!!! It was so fun!!
Then, Daddy roped me all up... in Christmas colors, so I got a cute lil photo shoot with me in Christmas rope!! As he was tying me, our new friend messaged as did the ex that they were both on the way... thank goodness it wasn’t really awkward as the timing was absolutely perfect! I told Daddy and put on my onesie as our new friend walked in. I gave her a hug and walked past to the door, opening it to a brat face and an urge that I had to control...
I had to get stuff over to the ex, but thankfully, the new friend was there to distract Daddy while I gave the ex back her things in a Christmas bag outside at the car... her new guy complimented my onesie as I walked back to the door and I caught myself before allowing a flood of garbage to flow out of my mouth and thanked him... what can I say... it’s been about a month and I’m still agitated about the whole thing, but whatevs... I’m a big girl and can be respectful and polite to anyone.
Once I got back inside, I recommended that we play with the electric... I know, I know... what am I thinking to ask for electric?! But I figured, we already played the other ways... also, I was honestly curious if she would like it, since it is Daddy’s fave type of play, not mine... I was pleasantly surprised as the noises she made while being electrified were adorable and erotic at the same time... I have a feeling that we will have a lot of fun with this one... and I’ve not seen my Daddy smile that big in a lil while.
Wednesday, December 19, 2018
What do I want?
Oh my goodness!! Today, before I tortured and tied my friend’s cock, he asked me what I wanted next in life... My quick response was that I wanted to be spoiled a bit... he laughed and said don’t we all... so I spoiled him with a CBT session that included a dick flogging and cropping... he came soooooo good for me... nom nom nom... it was wonderful... to get back to the topic... focus Foxy, focus... teehee
I know I just wrote about 5 things I want to see in the next 5 years... but right now, I really want to be pampered and taken care of. I want someone to dote on me and check in on me. I want someone who takes me to lunch or shopping just to spoil me... just cuz I’m worth it... where I don’t have to worry about anything anymore... for just a lil while... HAVE I NOT BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH YET, UNIVERSE!!! (pants heavily, waiving fist at the air) okay, so that was a little over dramatic self-entitlement... but isn’t everyone living that entitled life? Smdh...
I no longer have a semi-slave thingy at my beck and call (really, the only part that is frustrating me about the Princess situation... 2.5 years of gd training, grumble grumble...), so I’ve been having to take care of myself and it’s just not as fun as having someone waiting on my lil goddess self... and dare I say it, I’ve become a lil spoiled!
But no worries... all I am really looking for in my immediate future is someone willing to do the following without expecting anything except for my particular brand of affection:
Make me food
Massage my feet
Massage my back
Massage my pussy
Eat my pussy
Bring me drinks
Get stuff ready to go for parties or events
Pick out my clothes
Be my fucktoy sacrifice to my hubby
Remind me about chores or come do them for me if you have time
Text me good morning and goodnight
Sext me randomly
Have a punny joke ready for when I have bad days
Have a pic ready for when I request it
Be prepared to interact with 3-5 versions of me on any given day
Be socially appropriate... I have kids, lol
You know... the basic service sub type stuff... with some sexual sacrifice on the side, lol
If you are a dude and this list seems fun, be willing and able to look like a chic and you could be the one. I am pretty sure that if I can sissy you up enough, my PapaBear would still take the sacrifice I offer 😁
I know I just wrote about 5 things I want to see in the next 5 years... but right now, I really want to be pampered and taken care of. I want someone to dote on me and check in on me. I want someone who takes me to lunch or shopping just to spoil me... just cuz I’m worth it... where I don’t have to worry about anything anymore... for just a lil while... HAVE I NOT BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH YET, UNIVERSE!!! (pants heavily, waiving fist at the air) okay, so that was a little over dramatic self-entitlement... but isn’t everyone living that entitled life? Smdh...
I no longer have a semi-slave thingy at my beck and call (really, the only part that is frustrating me about the Princess situation... 2.5 years of gd training, grumble grumble...), so I’ve been having to take care of myself and it’s just not as fun as having someone waiting on my lil goddess self... and dare I say it, I’ve become a lil spoiled!
But no worries... all I am really looking for in my immediate future is someone willing to do the following without expecting anything except for my particular brand of affection:
Make me food
Massage my feet
Massage my back
Massage my pussy
Eat my pussy
Bring me drinks
Get stuff ready to go for parties or events
Pick out my clothes
Be my fucktoy sacrifice to my hubby
Remind me about chores or come do them for me if you have time
Text me good morning and goodnight
Sext me randomly
Have a punny joke ready for when I have bad days
Have a pic ready for when I request it
Be prepared to interact with 3-5 versions of me on any given day
Be socially appropriate... I have kids, lol
You know... the basic service sub type stuff... with some sexual sacrifice on the side, lol
If you are a dude and this list seems fun, be willing and able to look like a chic and you could be the one. I am pretty sure that if I can sissy you up enough, my PapaBear would still take the sacrifice I offer 😁
Monday, December 17, 2018
The next 5 years
I’m sick, laying in bed... reflecting on my life and the phases of it... wondering what this new phase will be like... what I will write in this next chapter... As the lead character in my book, I have been through so much in this book already... childhood trauma, teenage abuse, heartbreak, violence, a wonderful and magnificent reprieve, an amazing romantic love story, the joy of raising a family, the devastating loss of a son, and the depths of despair trapped in an existence I didn’t want for the undying love for another... selflessness, selfishness, and everything in between... so the next chapters I write... I hope they are clean and clear and joyful.
I am hoping to write about some of the following topics in the next five years:
The purchase of a new home with the extra space and soundproofing for playtime. It needs to have at least 4 rooms, but I would prefer 5. Definitely want a countertop big enough for all the makeup and products my niece/daughter uses. Also want to have amazing sexy backdrops for new pics, so my mind is now full of ideas for the house... look out Pinterest, lmao
The slutty hubby years... that’s right... I have been a lil slut for so long and my pussy is honestly tired... but he has always kind of been a serial monogamist... even in our poly, lol, he loves with all his heart, so hit and run style fuck buddies hasn’t been a thing... but I am a pretty good teacher and I love watching him fuck others... when I like them, of course... writing this chapter should be a lot of fun 😁 Is it bad to want to teach your partner to be less emotionally invested when fucking some slut so that the assholes of the world can’t hurt him and break his heart? I don’t think so...
The raising of the teens!! Dear god, I have 4 years before the first is old enough to be out on her own... and a little over 5 years on my firstborn... I am excited to watch them grow and flourish into strong adults who kick ass and take names in this life. And just as those two move on to adulthood, my youngest will hit that teen mark... so I got about 10 years coming up where I will be dealing with teens... smdh...
The growth of an empire... Bwahahaha Hahahaha... (maniacal laughter)... so many lives to change and people in this world to impact... so many people that need someone to let them know it’s okay to be themselves and to find that wonder and joy again in a dark world... I have the heart of a Phoenix... come into my embrace and burn away the bullshit with the light of a thousand suns and the unending love of the universe so you can rise with me... (legit message me here or on fet if you would like to come with me)
Our forever companion... I know what I want and know what I don’t want and will not settle... super tired of settling... so this should be an interesting chapter when we get to it... and that doesn’t even include what he’s looking for.... lol... but what I know is that if I am happy, then he is happy... and that’s all that really matters. I am vortexing the most amazing woman who will be in love with us both... I know it can happen because I have been that unicorn before... I wonder what her name is?!?!
That seems like enough to focus on for a space of time and all good things... looking through it all, I can see where the threads of drama can pop up and delight the readers... and I feel like W/we can handle it as the woman W/we are continually becoming... I feel like, for the first time in a long time, everyone living in my head will finally have a new purpose that they can work on together... which may even lead to integration... a girl can always wish...
I am hoping to write about some of the following topics in the next five years:
The purchase of a new home with the extra space and soundproofing for playtime. It needs to have at least 4 rooms, but I would prefer 5. Definitely want a countertop big enough for all the makeup and products my niece/daughter uses. Also want to have amazing sexy backdrops for new pics, so my mind is now full of ideas for the house... look out Pinterest, lmao
The slutty hubby years... that’s right... I have been a lil slut for so long and my pussy is honestly tired... but he has always kind of been a serial monogamist... even in our poly, lol, he loves with all his heart, so hit and run style fuck buddies hasn’t been a thing... but I am a pretty good teacher and I love watching him fuck others... when I like them, of course... writing this chapter should be a lot of fun 😁 Is it bad to want to teach your partner to be less emotionally invested when fucking some slut so that the assholes of the world can’t hurt him and break his heart? I don’t think so...
The raising of the teens!! Dear god, I have 4 years before the first is old enough to be out on her own... and a little over 5 years on my firstborn... I am excited to watch them grow and flourish into strong adults who kick ass and take names in this life. And just as those two move on to adulthood, my youngest will hit that teen mark... so I got about 10 years coming up where I will be dealing with teens... smdh...
The growth of an empire... Bwahahaha Hahahaha... (maniacal laughter)... so many lives to change and people in this world to impact... so many people that need someone to let them know it’s okay to be themselves and to find that wonder and joy again in a dark world... I have the heart of a Phoenix... come into my embrace and burn away the bullshit with the light of a thousand suns and the unending love of the universe so you can rise with me... (legit message me here or on fet if you would like to come with me)
Our forever companion... I know what I want and know what I don’t want and will not settle... super tired of settling... so this should be an interesting chapter when we get to it... and that doesn’t even include what he’s looking for.... lol... but what I know is that if I am happy, then he is happy... and that’s all that really matters. I am vortexing the most amazing woman who will be in love with us both... I know it can happen because I have been that unicorn before... I wonder what her name is?!?!
That seems like enough to focus on for a space of time and all good things... looking through it all, I can see where the threads of drama can pop up and delight the readers... and I feel like W/we can handle it as the woman W/we are continually becoming... I feel like, for the first time in a long time, everyone living in my head will finally have a new purpose that they can work on together... which may even lead to integration... a girl can always wish...
Sunday, December 16, 2018
Change
The only thing in life that is constant is change... who would have thought that I would be stepping into 2019 as the mother of daughter... and a teenage daughter at that... but I’m excited and proud and nervous and want to make sure I do it right...
With my home being clear of negative energy (most of which was mine... not gonna lie... I can be a psychotic hateful bitch when I need to be), life has felt and been a bit different... I am no longer waking up with anxiety and panic attacks... I am waking up with a lil depression over the loss of my boy... but even that is quickly swept away by the plans of what we are building together for our family. I feel like my relationship is stronger than ever and my Master/Owner/Daddy/Fuckboy is all mine... I love sharing him with others who love him, but sometimes it’s also nice to be able to remind him of how much I love him and to get his undivided attention.
I am not sure how things will continue to change, but all I know is that I am ready and in a state of hyper vigilance... I am open to new women and new situations and circumstances... nothing too serious though... just fun and games... especially after the last couple of years... I need a break and I am oh so tired of drama.
With my home being clear of negative energy (most of which was mine... not gonna lie... I can be a psychotic hateful bitch when I need to be), life has felt and been a bit different... I am no longer waking up with anxiety and panic attacks... I am waking up with a lil depression over the loss of my boy... but even that is quickly swept away by the plans of what we are building together for our family. I feel like my relationship is stronger than ever and my Master/Owner/Daddy/Fuckboy is all mine... I love sharing him with others who love him, but sometimes it’s also nice to be able to remind him of how much I love him and to get his undivided attention.
I am not sure how things will continue to change, but all I know is that I am ready and in a state of hyper vigilance... I am open to new women and new situations and circumstances... nothing too serious though... just fun and games... especially after the last couple of years... I need a break and I am oh so tired of drama.
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