Dammit, need to catch up on writing again. Lol...
So last Monday, 1/18, Sire and i had our actual solo date. My favorite thing about the night was the freedom that i felt. The freedom to be a me that has no responsibilities or deadlines. The freedom to play and do anything we wanted with minimal control as well. Daddy lifted the 30 minute fucking restriction He had placed before.
As a mom, when Daddy and i play at home, there is still a portion of my brain that focuses on my kids. When we play outside of the home together, my brain is always fixed on making Daddy happy and a part of me looks at Him and sees the son we lost. It is hard, but the good and fun always outweighs the worry and despair. i remembered what it felt like to escape everything when i went on my final date with my Sir and i was hoping this experience would be more freeing, and it was.
For this night, i truly was slave foxy receiving a reward for being a good girl with strict instruction from Daddy to have the best time i could, follow my contract rules, and to take care of Sire the best i could which would make Daddy proud. i felt like i met his expectations.
i slipped into the box i have with Sire. In that box, i am Sire's Cara Mia, or heart song. We are passionate and romantic and silly and playful. In that box, where i love him madly and desperately, i get to be this spontaneously sexual princess who has doors opened and is not allowed to release herself from a vehicle without express permission. She is horny and amazing at sexual innuendo. She is well-written, educated, and appreciated for those gifts. She can have a couple drinks or a little marijuana and feel right as rain. She is easy and carefree without a worry in the world because she just is who she is and Sire loves her for that. She is intensely focused on connecting with Sire.
She is one of the many personalities i play around with. She is beyond free within the cage that Sire is providing. i happen to love cages. They are amazingly fun for lots of reasons. My favorite is that all of the walls and corners are clearly defined. You know what will happen if you touch the wall of an electrocuted cage... Rules and relationship dynamics work the same way. When building that cage, you review the way you want it to look, the room you want to give, and the way in and out of it.
i feel like this solo date helped me understand a little about what the first large edges of the cage will look like. The good news is that there is a lot of room in the cage right now. Only rule so far is that i am not allowed to open a car door for myself as Sire decides when i should enter or exit a vehicle. i thoroughly enjoy this rule as i am usually the one that opens the door and puts Daddy in the car... But Cara Mia, the princess, doesn't do that. It is different and interesting.
The walls of my cage are decorated with nakedness and sex. His bed is so soft and squishy that i like to get naked immediately and jump on it, but first we had to take a shower. i had already washed and curled my hair and did my makeup, so i literally just stood in the shower as Sire washed and helped here and there. Then, after we were all the way clean, we hopped on the bed and had quite a bit of sex. Then i was hungry, so we went out to eat.
The walls of my cage are decorated with Italian food, which i love, and writings upon writings. To be able to discuss personal development books and Sire's book (which i am reading), was fun. We also discussed a little about my prior relationship with Sir and My Queen, as that relationship more closely mirrors what i am doing now. Learning some close history can help us understand the things we like and don't like, to see if compatability exists. He definitely understands the importance of my contract and the rules, which puts my mind at ease.
The walls of my cage are decorated with rope! Glorious rope and its movement and texture and gauge... Sire tied my hand in a hang ten with this very thinly gauged rope. It was tight and funny. i love how quickly rope relaxes me.
Lastly, the walls of my cage are decorated with paddles?! Lol... i have been thinking a lot about paddles and spankings and whips and all the BDSM toys that Sire has. He spoke to me about rhythm and motion and alternating placement, but by the end, i just liked the way it felt and the space it put me into. It helped me fall right to sleep as i spent the night as well.
It makes me feel like my Daddy spoils me with these experiences because a good slave deserves a treat at times. My Daddy gives me treats of freedom for my good behavior, not just trinkets and socks, but full experiences in different shoes. He loves me so much and knows that my chameleon-type nature enjoys feeling the shift.
Thank You both so much for the amazing night!!
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