Writing has been in the back burner for a while... surprisingly had a new business opportunity fall into my lap that I had to jump on and it has taken so much of my effort, it is insane but I love it... on another note, my life is pretty simple and happy right now... the drama is at an all time low. The only thing is that I have been feeling so needy/clingy lately... wanting to hold onto my Daddy... wanting Him to take ownership again, but not knowing if I will be able to submit... now that I have re-established my trust in Him (only took me about a year after the Princess left our lives), maybe I could give myself to Him again. Maybe i could defer... submit... slave...
I really enjoyed belonging to Him and being His. I feel like He loved it when I only thought of Him... how to please Him, how to serve Him, how to become and create all that He wanted in me... all that I wanted from myself to be a good wife to Him and mother to my precious boys... when giving yourself to another, wholly like that, trust is so necessary... I now know that He truly loves me and would choose me first. What happened before will never happen again. Lessons learned... now, to Slave or not to Slave... that is the question... I feel like it would benefit me tremendously to place myself back under His care and for me to request punishment for fucking up in things... I need to grow... and force has always helped me grow... fear doesn’t work anymore as I am not afraid... proving others wrong doesn’t work anymore cuz I just don’t give a fuck enough about what others think... hmmmmm... am I ready to hurt so I can reach my goals? Lol
