Friday, April 25, 2014

My life would be a fun book to read

Ok, so today has been interesting... i was thinking today while washing dishes that i hate them... and i hate Him for not cleaning them when He is home all day... and when i start to feel that way, i think that i need to find the good in the situation i am in.

Before i did the dishes, i took a new medication for my migraines which made me very introspective and a little dizzy. It made me very grateful for the life i have.

So i thought i hate the dishes and then i thought... no... i am grateful for these dishes because that means we ate today... and i am grateful to have the money that enabled us to have dishes to eat off... and i am grateful for the water in my faucet... and my mind wandered toward the smallest things that i have taken for granted...

For some reason, this struck me as an epiphany that i have so much to live for and be happy about... i have a Master who challenges me and loves me and does what's best for our family...

i am truly blessed...

Monday, April 21, 2014

Whoops, attention span

So, i had to take another go at some healthy fitness goals, which is something my Master is horrible about... He is not good at holding me accountable and likes to eat, so the temptation is really hard to deal with... if i say i'm hungry, then it is time to eat something in front of me, almost as a punishment... sucks...

i am grateful for my Master's love because sometimes it is rough and sometimes it is gentle, but it is always what i need...

Thursday, April 17, 2014

Gratitude #15

So, we had an especially rough night last night with one of the kids. Everything is fine, but i stayed home from work today because my sleep deprived state would have been horrible on the road and at work. i planned on going and woke my Master up properly this morning only to have Him demand that i stay home. i tried to snuggle back into bed when He decided to use me instead.
After that, i got the kids ready for school and sent then on their way and made Master breakfast, then myself. We screwed again after that, because if i an at home, especially with no kids, we get to do full ttwd stuff (yay!)
After that time, we snuggled and slept for a bit... then it was time for lunch, so i made Him lunch. When i tried to make my own, He stopped me and had me put in my fox tail, put on my cuffs and collar, and wear heels... then i finished making my lunch, which was a bit more difficult. My cuff and collar set had chains that connect them, which made it extra interesting putting together a salad.
After my salad was made, He had me pose for random pictures in several different positions and poses (which will not be posted on here, lol), then allowed me to take it out so he could screw me again... such a busy day for a restful day at home...

i am so thankful that Master takes my health into account on a daily basis because it makes me feel well cared for and also provides me with the rest i wouldn't have taken myself.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Gratitude #14

So last night was interesting and i found out more about the types of porn my Master likes. i generally steer clear of porn, but Master likes to watch it.
He does get some alone time during the day while the kids are in school and the baby is down for a nap, so what He does in His spare time is none of my business.

i am so grateful that Master shares His ideas and thoughts with me because it gives me an insight into what turns Him on.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Gratitude #13

Today was a good food day... had cheesecake and homemade fried rice and a delicious salad. A little higher in calories than i wanted, but oh well. My Master doesn't care about how heavy or light i am, so it is incredibly hard to care myself, even when i personally want to be thinner. If enjoying food with Him makes Him happier, than that is what i want to do, regardless of my weight...

i am very thankful for my Master's hand when He jams it in my mouth and forces it open because it makes me feel owned and controlled.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Gratitude #12

Last night and this morning were both amazing! Master is on fire right now and using me like crazy. Sometimes it can be difficult with kids in the house, but with the right music and the right time, they won't know any better, for now lol...

This morning, i was my nutty and crazy self and He tried to screw the craziness out of me... but it didn't work. It failed beautifully... i did feel satisfied going into work today... but still crazy...

i am grateful for my Master's cock because it fills me up plenty...

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Gratitude #11

Today was a pretty boring day. We were both exhausted from last night and so we just caught up on some of our shows. Lazy days can be nice, but they are not an everyday thing for me. Usually i am running around doing something. Master is usually watching the kids all day while i am at work, so He gets to relax when i'm home.
On days where i am home all day, i really get to practice serving Master more and trying to balance that with taking care of the kids. That is so very difficult when Master sometimes acts worse than the children, lol...

i am grateful for when Master takes goals that i want to achieve and turns them into rules because i can tell in those moments that ttwd is really about keeping us both happy.

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Gratitude #10

My Master is definitely pushing me more than normal lately. i think that He let me be a brat for a little while because i needed to be one and we had a lot of things going on. It is very hard for me to maintain a 24/7 TPE when big events happen that draw my attention and emotions away. i think that it is also difficult for Him...
Now that we are closer to normal, He has started to push me a little further, spank me a little more, use me more, command me more. One thing He is not doing is showing appreciation for the fact that i am following His wishes...
This is one thing that i struggle with regularly. i like to hear thank you and good girl... i like it when He brushes my hair or gives me a shower... i like it when He shows me that He is pleased with me. That being said, i need to work more on not expecting those things unless He feels like He needs to give them to me... sigh...

i am grateful for the extra attention i receive because it helps me realize that i am important to Him and He values me.

Friday, April 11, 2014

Gratitude #9

So last night was amazing and difficult at the same time. i am pretty sure that my Master likes to push my limits and also likes it when i talk dirty to Him. When i tell Him what a dirty slut i am and talk to Him about gobbling his cock... and craving His spankins... and taking His cock deep in many places... mmmmm...

Talking dirty, even if just in a dirty voice is so hot!... and my Master loves it!

i am so thankful that my Master thinks i am so sexy and hot because it makes me feel that much more special and unique.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Gratitude #8

Last night, we tried to play, but the kids had difficulty staying asleep... needless to say, nothing happened and we are both exhausted...

i am so thankful that sometimes, we just go to bed...

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Gratitude #7

So i almost forgot to create a post tonight. Busy, busy day... but that is okay. i am following my rule, enjoying spankings, and getting everything done.

i am grateful for the mouth and lips i have because they are so loved and cherish by my Master, who likes to use them however He sees fit.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Gratitude #6

So today was a very good day! Master was able to give me some extra chores last night to do today and i was able to complete them with a little smile on my face. i also did one of those fast little 10 minute workout videos (Victoria secret model workout) Welch is my way of getting back on track. Small and slow and steady has always worked for me when it comes to starting a workout regimen. Sometimes, i wish Master would control that, but He refuses because He tried doing that before and i failed...

i am so very happy for bedtime because it helps make sure i get enough sleep to feel well rested for the day's activities.

Monday, April 7, 2014

Gratitude #5

i am very excited today because we have finally been able to settle down and get things back to normal. Master is healthy and no longer consumed by other areas and i am healthy and back to being my normal motivated self (well...almost... need to get back on track with diet and exercise). Also, last night, i asked for something i never have before. i actually asked for spankings and requested that He spank me until i used my safe word. Then, i took as many as He would give me. At first, we started with hand to bare butt... i have a very low pain tolerance but my mind has not been in the right place lately and i really felt like a spanking session would help me snap back.

Master doesn't usually like to give me spankings that much because i usually start crying or begging or try to dance around to avoid it. i am really proud of how i handled last night and He told me that i was such a good girl. i counted them off while bent across Him looking up into His eyes. They were slow and thuddy, then fast and sharp, then light and stingy... After a bit He used a thick plastic ruler and i cried, but not too much. i didn't move from my spot, but wriggled around a little (He likes it when i squirm). i didn't use my safe word, but almost did... i really needed the release of those tears. i really needed that pain. He says we might need to do maintenance spankings for a little while to see if that helps me stay in the right frame of mind.

i am so thankful that Master allows me to make requests or suggestions because it makes me feel like my input is still valued even when He makes a decision and it is not be my request or suggestion.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Gratitude #4

So, today i spoke with Master about how neglected i was feeling and how i felt like i didn't know what He wanted anymore and He surprised me, which happens sometimes. He told me that He could tell (shocker... lol, He has always known me better than i know myself) and that He would answer some questions for me (actual surprise because He never answers my crazy insecure questions).

i asked Him what He wants to get out of ttwd and He said that one was easy... He wants to get whatever He wants out of it because He is the one in charge... lol... this could mean inflicting light pain on me (He is about as far from sadistic as one can get ;-)) or it could mean getting to put His feet up for the day. He wants to get what He wants...

my next question was what makes up the perfect slave. His answer was that a perfect slave would be naked and in chains and would do whatever He wanted instantly. He then said that this level of perfection is impossible right now because of the kids, so it is best not to think of it. i rephrased my question and asked what a realistically perfect slave would be like and He answered that i should be able to anticipate His needs so He is not always asking things of me. In His eyes, that makes Him seem very demanding and He is not sure how that will impact our sons. So... i just need to work on my mind reading

i am so grateful for my chains because they make me feel super hot for my Master and are also really fun to play with!

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Gratitude #3

Things are starting to settle down a little on the home front, which is great. i am just feeling a little neglected at this point, but i understand... i also feel like i probably wouldn't be good at serving right now anyway... ever have a day when everything your Master does drives you crazy?! Having one of those days for sure.

i am very grateful for my rule (obey always) because it helps me remember what to do, even when i am not in the mood to follow it.

Friday, April 4, 2014

Gratitude #2

So today was interesting. Actually had a pretty good day in spite of some crappy things. My Master is too tired and worn down to dominate me. He loves me so much, but this month always wears us out.

Okay, so today i am so grateful for spankings because it has been a little while since i have had one and i am missing having my Master's big hands against my bare cheeks.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Gratitude #1

So i have noticed my servitude has been slipping... this is a difficult time of year for my family, so it is easy to get wrapped up in that and lose focus on what is really important to me. That being said, i am trying to find different ways to refocus.

One thing i am doing is writing out the things that make me grateful and happy in my regular daily life. i am also going to do the same thing on here and write 1 thing each day this month that i am thankful for and why in ttwd. It will help me remember why i love to serve Him.

1. i am grateful for the open communication time that we have every night because it allows me to get a better understanding of what He expects of me and why He wants those things.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014


Sometimes, we are just plain boring. i am writing this as we sit on the couch watching Naked and Afraid, which is funny... the kids are in bed and we are sitting around... We are both really tired and dealing with a lot of issues and just don't really feel like doing much else...

He doesn't really feel like keeping me in line and i don't feel like getting into my normal shenanigans... just an average couple doing average things... i'm not even sure that we will play tonight and i am completely okay with that... does anyone else ever feel like just relaxing the night away?