Until...

There is such a thrill in being chased... in being sought after and requested... in someone believing that a connection with me is exactly what they need to fill a hole... I am not really available right now to build new things and I make that very clear with those that chat with me... too much recent loss... I need to heal and spend time on the things I already have in motion... like...

My hubby who is endlessly by my side, loving me, cuddling me, being mine...

My boys who need a focused and loving mom...

My clients who need their cheerleader to push them past the bullshit excuses they have been giving themselves when it comes to their goals...

Making that money!!

Once that healing is over, look out world... but I must face the facts that I am bottling grief and trying to keep everything going in this weird fog... I want to be complete so that I attract others into my sphere that want to be complete too... I am doing the daily work of being the best version of me... but the air is heavy here right now and I don’t want to drag anyone else down with me... I am still clawing my way up to my highest disk... from the depths of a well-worn soul...

I know that the ones that truly want me will wait for me... until...

The void

My body craves him, to fill my empty soul... I currently cannot get enough sex from my Master... I seem insatiable at this point... I am grasping at his arms wrapped around me and his lips on mine... I want grasps and kisses and groping and licking... I want his cock in me repeatedly... I am missing him now as he works... dreaming of his hands on my body and his mouth on my neck...

He’s been anally raping me every night and my ass doesn’t hurt the next day... I fight against it and wriggle, but I don’t safe word and he cums so nicely as I struggle... begging him to use my dirty lil hole... it’s so us... I feel like I am getting closer to who I was... the void that I was before all of this... all of this emotion flooded in... I am strongest in life when I tell emotions to fuck off and focus on remaining an empty, needy lil void...

I’m craving the feel of his hand around my throat and his body smashing me into the bed. Last night, as he was fucking my ass, I just started to fight his advances harder than before... just try to escape with my whole body... and I couldn’t... he is now stronger than me in stamina as well... I can’t just wear him down... shit, with this extra fluff, I wear down a lil easier... and that anal raping reminded me of what a butt slut and anal whore I am for him... I belong to him... he owns me...

On a side note, I’m doing great in my cam life as my pussy seems to be insatiable... I can’t fuck and cum enough... which is so amazing! I was struggling with that within my body for a while... it seems to be the perfect combination of connection with separation for me to get my needs met without taking extra time away from my family or without feeling let down by those who spout words of affection... if you are interested in my cam shows, let me know and I’ll get you my link and info 😁

My Dad Died

Oh goodness... I feel like empty... weirdly empty... my dad died... he had cancer... I was expecting it... but then I wasn’t... it’s kind of like my head put him back in jail again when he slid the last time... and now he’s gone... but at least he isn’t in pain... and at least he can’t get into any more trouble... love and light and joy according to my belief system... I just can’t believe he’s really dead...