A new play toy!

I think I found him!! The one!! Or should I say the next one, lol... his heart center felt comfortable and warm and fulfilling. His story, his passion, his progression... his readiness for something new... our breakfast was amazing! The time slipped by as we both chatted and found things we connected on... and then, the decision to move forward.

He was a gentleman. Polite, honest, forthcoming, understanding, and aware... he can see the benefits I have to offer in all of my strengths... not just my beauty... this means so much to me... especially as my life progresses...

My decision to take this the next step further ended up with us in a hotel room chatting and talking and coming to an agreement on our boundaries from a sexual and play perspective... I have found that I really have no need for a vanilla boyfriend... I have my Daddy Dom at home and my subbyish playtoys out and about... and my needs are fulfilled... I feel whole again... like all of me is able to experience, which is something I haven’t been able to say for a while.

I had him undress as I stripped my gorgeous dress off, staying in my bra and panties for visual effect. I then blindfolded him and had him lay face down for a famous Foxy Massage. As I massaged his back with my ass, his groans told me I was doing it right... I wanted him relaxed before I started my torture and abuse... I stretched and massaged his feet and his breathing slowed and his energy calmed... so I had him roll over so he was face up and I tied down 3 of his limbs... until we build trust, I will give him the reassurance of being able to untie himself by leaving a hand free.

Once he was secured, I took off my bra, cuz everyone knows I prefer naked... panties stayed on cuz of shark week... and I grabbed my toys. I brought tiny cock tying rope, a riding crop, and a wartenberg wheel and I used all 3... and it was perfect... I made his cock look like a pretty rainbow unicorn horn! It was gorgeous!! He calls me Boss... I’ve got to figure out what nickname I should give him in here...

We cuddled and talked afterwards... it was perfect... absolutely perfect... except that the room was too warm after all that play and I didn’t get to set it up right since it was a spur of the moment decision.. the next time will be better...

The boy

There is this boy who has recently stepped up his game and is sending me pics... they are almost exactly what I am looking for... still waiting to officially own because proof and consistency over time is required... gotta make sure they are in it, all of it, for the long haul... but this one sure is promising

Light Enough

Everything around me keeps falling through
It’s like the universe is laughing at me
Testing me to see if I am ready for my next level
Tempting me again to flee.

I’m standing at this precipice
With my arms opened so wide
Crying, reaching, grasping for more love
To fill a gaping hole left inside.

Nothing is wrong at reaching for more love
Especially when you can share it with another
I’m carefully crafting my life to ensure
I also remain a good mother.

My life is so different
Than what I thought it was going to be
I was supposed to live in Holland
But a free pass for Paris came to me.

And when I say free, I paid,
I paid with the tears I continue to randomly cry
But hey, freedom is freedom, right?
But what if I’m not light enough yet to fly?

The Doctor

Sitting here... contemplating what it will finally be like to meet him... we have been texting each other for a month... and not just here and there, but every day... even while he was on vacation and when he was working in another state... it feels real... I have my fingers crossed that it is just as real in person. I’ll have to write about it when it happens.

He was there in support through a couple of bigger things in my life over this last month, which was a great thing to see. Also, when things didn’t seem to align, he continued to message back and forth with me until it was resolved. I enjoy a person who is not willing to give up so easily.

I just keep asking the universe for a man who wants to help take care of me and my family and is okay with my Daddy’s role in my life. He supports and protects me and wants to be a part of everything in my life, at least to some degree... especially when it comes to first experiences.