I keep opening this page to write and then everything I write seems of little consequence as life is just a bit too heavy again... nothing wants to hit the paper right... none of this even sounds like it’s worth writing, but I’m here, so hey...
Maybe I should just think back on fun times and reminisce for a moment... I remember when she took me to get my hair dyed... from my bright Roller Derby Red to a sensible black with purple streaks... purple was a favorite of hers...
Or maybe our first play session... silly and fun and playful... I remember fucking up the timer and her getting a much longer massage than me... not a problem for My Queen, lol... and I remember the first time she swung a flogger on me... so cute and delicate... like a 1 on a scale of 1-10... got her to a 3 before she decided she didn’t really want to inflict any pain with it... she always had a plan and was very good at executing her plans... and helping everyone else get on board to make sure it worked.
Oh, and the taste of her... delicate and delicious... I could have eaten her for hours... for days even... can’t forget about that...
When we split, it was heartbreaking... a lot of things were out of our control at the time and there really wasn’t an opportunity to regain that control until after my son passed and then, lets face it, I wasn’t even the same person anymore... I just didn’t work for what she needed in her life and I had to accept that my place was as a friend and nothing more...
And now she’s gone... the hope I was holding onto is officially gone... my heart bleeds for the loss of such a beautiful creature... and my tears continue to fall...
No comments:
Post a Comment