3/9 - No More Rope

The main hiccup happened when Daddy and i had an argument about rope... Daddy doesn't really enjoy rope, my main addiction...

Since we started the sticker chart, Daddy said that Wednesdays would be days when i can ask for rope from Him as a reward if i was meeting my goals early in the week... Kinda like a getting over the hump reward. But this Wednesday (3/9) was different.

i asked for rope ahead of time, like a good girl, and was told okay... But then, when it was time for bed, Daddy quickly got in bed... i was confused and asked about the rope... And then the floodgates of hell opened up...

Okay, so maybe that was a bit melodramatic... But it kinda felt like that... Daddy couldn't think about rope without thinking of the suspension rig room that was gifted to me... Ruining rope for Him and for us to do together... He felt imperfect in his abilities...

i tried to tell Him that any rope, even just to tie a hand on a lead was good enough for me, but He wouldn't hear me because He knows that i crave more most of the time, like any other addict would...

My heart broke...

Almost a whole month!!

Ahhhhhhhhh!!! i almost went a whole month without writing in here... i figured out that i just kept putting off one particular writing and now i am too backed up to catch up... Lol... i need to write about that incident specifically but after that, please know that my weeks were full of their normal debauchery, craziness, and fun... Along with a few emotional breakdowns of course...

My very own suspension rig!!!

The suspension rig... Oh my goodness, the suspension rig... Our rig... My rigger built me a suspension rig... It may get used for many things, but it is a masterpiece and his gift to me... Built by his hands...

i stood in awe of the lumber that was used to erect this masterpiece and thought of it as it was intended... Like the fountains that were created for Napoleon's Josephine... This suspension rig means the world to me... After the tours that were needed for the new group of people, i got naked and prepped for suspension. Sire tied me and hung me and then i was gone...

The tug of the rope behind my knees was quickly adjusted and when my arms pinched a little, Sire adjusted me until the pinch was alleviated. i danced in Sire's rope as he pulled on a rope here and loosened a rope there. i was his puppet girl within my rope swing and i fell out into it. Felt the weightlessness and the firm hug at the same time... Free and secure... Floating and grounded... Subspace achieved in grace and love...

When i came down, i helped put away the rope as Sire prepared for His next scene with Twinsie. Thank goodness i have the wonderful skill of putting my emotions to the side when i need to. i was a good girl, very civil and collected. After seeing my Daddy the way He was the night before, i will not be able to build with her... But i know how to be a good acquaintance and so that is where i will stay.

i was feeling really horny... Rope tends to do that to me, so i asked Daddy to give Him a blow job. We went to the guest room, but the bed made us nervous, so we went to use Sire's bed. Right before we got into the room, Sire and Twinsie needed it to talk before their scene, so i blew Him in the kitchen by the sink. Sire saw as He left the room and came over to call me a dirty whore, lol. Then Daddy and i moved to the bedroom and we fucked so hard. After fucking me and then dropping His cock in my ass a few times, He led his lil subby sub to watch the ass beating scene.

Once that was over, Daddy did the aftercare for Twinsie. Papa Bear cuddles are the best! Then, Daddy and Twinsie did electric fucking and Sire and i had fun fucking in another room. We fucked and we talked. We cleaned everything up as everyone started to leave.

After we got home, Daddy and i fucked some more before we fell asleep. Daddy had to work in the morning...

i dreamed of suspensions on my new rig... Which is only 20-30 minutes away... Dreams came true with our adjusting suspension... My first dream of suspension included adjustable tying because of the first suspension scene i saw at APEX and Sire gave that to me... Thank you Sire... For making my dreams come true... Thank You Daddy for allowing him to...

Letting it go... Pfft...

The picture from the last poem was created on our solo date from this last Friday after talking about the poem Sire wrote for me, the little mermaid caught in his glorious rope. The date night started out rocky though because i was pissed...

You see, getting a sitter lined up is a bitch... My dad, who has been doing a lot of kids watching for me lately got sick, so i had to work my magic and get everything lined up so Daddy could have a solo date with Twinsie, setting myself up on a solo date with Sire... And then life happened and Daddy's date was cancelled... No options, no sense, just cancelled... i started freaking out... i didn't want to cancel on Sire but i also didn't want my Daddy to be home alone.

i called Daddy when i got the cancellation text and He said that my date needed to stand because we don't break plans anymore. i had to put my foot down on plan cancelling after all the shit that went down in September... i notice now how much i changed now... So much change... Nobody even knows... i haven't gotten to the bottom of the changes yet and discover new ways i have changed everyday.

Anyways... So i drove home from work to get my car, since Lola and i carpool, and gave Daddy kisses. i got in my car and cried as i drove. i cried because i was leaving my Master without someone to take care of Him, keep Him happy, and to distract Him while He is out. He loves me so much and needs a good distraction when i am out being a whore because He doesn't really like to think of His wife getting fucked by another man... But He let's me because He loves me and Sire has shown Him how valuable i am in Sire's eyes...

As i got closer to Sire's house, i started to get over my tears and anger filled my mind... How dare she take herself away again! How dare she send a text with some ambiguous cancellation! How dare she hurt Him and make us cry! How dare she!!! So, i called her... i wanted to save my Daddy's night so i could focus on having fun instead of worrying about Him... i told her to call Him and to ask for His help. He loves to help others... and i left it in her hands. i tried to let it go.

Sire could tell i was off... That my energy was way off... i complained before dinner and a little at dinner... i kept trying to shake it. Sire had made me a lovely chicken, asparagus and mushroom dish that was phenomenal! i talked it through with Sire and apologized for the way that i was reacting to these feelings. i wanted to make two people happy at the same time with no way to do it... At the end of the day though, my Daddy told me to enjoy my date and wanted me to focus on Sire and so we set about getting my head in the right place.

Sire tied me on a chair. Tying and untying me with my music in the background and suddenly, letting it go was easy and i was back in our box... Cara Mia, the princess, was back and being worshipped with Sire's rope. i let go and enjoyed the rope and the energy of us. We fucked for an hour after the rope was over. We talked for longer about anything that popped into our thoughts... Deepening our connection...

Then i picked up the boys from the sitter and made our way home. i was horny and fulfilled and ready to fuck my Daddy... But when i arrived home, He was not able to really focus on me... He had too much to drink and smoke in my opinion and was trying to escape the sadness... And i hated her in that moment...

Poem #7 from Sire

Magic Carpet Rope:

Sharing space with more than a dozen others....
One leering over my shoulder...
Several stare at you, a few watch me...

I'm throwing rope on you, like a fisherman casting his net...
I pull tight and what do I see?...
A mermaid staring back at me...

Suddenly, the familiar magic kicks in...
Our eyes lock, and the rope becomes a magic carpet that transports us to our private place...

For the next half hour, people watch as I tie and untie you...

Little do they know....

We are in our box, where our souls dance and our spirits embrace....

Little do they know...

We're not even there...

Sickness

i have been sick since Saturday morning... Can't breathe and i just don't sound right... Bronchitis is a bitch...

So, laying in bed, sick on Monday after starting antibiotics and steroids, i was fighting in and out of sleep. Daddy came in and laid down next to me and started to fondle me. It was highly erotic, but felt strangely innocent at the same time.

He brought me to orgasm a few times with this gentle, cuddly play and then rubbed my head and back until i fell asleep. My Daddy is so good to me.

Impromptu Rope Night

So... Open rope night was cancelled due to a venue issue, but as you all know, i won't let something silly like a party cancellation stop me from getting my rope. Sire recommended we do it at His place and i quickly suggested a few people to invite as well. All together, we were able to get a group of 14 to show up to his place. The event started at 7, but we wanted to get there early, so we were getting my dad at 5 and should have been there by 6...

Wouldn't you know that my dad had a lot of work to do and so we didn't get home until about 6:30 and then we got to Sire's at 7 anyways, lol. i was super excited and ready to be tied up, so i got naked right away. i asked Sire about rope and he said we would get started after the tour of his place was given... Thus starts what my head calls:

The Great Rope Delay

As a new guest would come in, Sire would start a new tour. All of the guests showed up sporadically, so right as i would start to follow Sire, saying rope repeatedly and quietly, he would need to go give the tour again... This was so painful... Then, Sire looked at me and said it was time for Rope and laid out the blanket. Right as i was smoothing it out, the last guests showed up, so Sire had to give the tour again!!

i laid out, looking like a dead rope bunny and then decided that i should stretch. Twinsie came in and asked if i was stretching and i noncommittally nodded and then she asked if i was pouting and Sweetheart pointed out that i was a dead rope bunny cuz i had to wait so long. That made me giggle... Then, i heard Sire coming and i popped right up with an excited smile cuz the great rope delay was over!!!

Our rope today was more about teaching than connecting, so i let myself interact more with the crowd and less with Sire so he could focus on teaching. During the Great Rope Delay, Frisky's KIT (kitty in training) gave me a present. They were not able to go to my birthday party because Frisky's Daddy was ill, but KIT still got me this adorable huge fox eraser!!

KIT and i have our own interesting history, so my brain continues to entertain thoughts of her and what the present means... i am going to go with friends for now...

As i was thinking all this through, i realized that i was turned in such a way that i could focus on my Sire for a minute. i locked on with the purpose of sharing our space together for a moment. i did not want to interrupt his teaching, but if he was teaching of rope, then the pupils needed to see what our rope does for us, right?

In a break, Sire looked right at me and the world fell away. We had our moment of connection and shared that the rope felt amazing, that we love each other, that we were both immensely happy, and that the night was going well. Then, we both stepped back into the roles of teacher and demo. Those moments of brief but intense connection are so important to me. i don't think i could have someone be my rigger for longer than a session or two without that sort of connection... It is either there for me or it isn't... So far, i have been tied by 6 people and felt a connection with 4 of them.

Sire let me keep my rope on for a while as he tied others. i wandered around the house, with his permission, and took a look at other things going on. So much debauchery!! In one room, KIT was getting fucked hard by Frisky's Daddy and i got to call her a dirty whore, which was fun! i like egging it on! In another room, fire play was happening! Then Daddy and i started electric in the last room, which brought everybody in to get electric orgasms, lol.

How amazing that in 1 night, we got to experience so many different things! i was such a proud girl, watching my Master play with His electric on girls that tritely enjoy it. My heart wishes that i liked electric more just to gain that connection, but i have learned that even i cannot connect with people on everything... As i started to wind down, i realized that i wasn't feeling too well, so i slightly laid across the couch, laying on Daddy and Sire. My leg was on Sire's lap when Twinsie and a new friend fell onto his lap, twisting my ankle a little. It hurt and at that point, i decided to call it a night. Daddy was ready as well because He was feeling kinda tired as well.

We gave hugs and kisses all around and went home to call it a night. Daddy tucked me in with a kiss and a back rub... Such a great night.

The park

Today, Sire and i took the kiddos to the park. They played on the equipment as we say on a bench and chatted. Sire and i usually chat about a lot of sexual things, because that is who we are, lol... It was kinda fun to talk in hushed tones so the kids on the playground couldn't overhear our conversation. i love being just a little dirty in secret in public places...

He asked for permission and then leaned over and kissed my cheek. It was sweet to be able to enjoy his company at the park, watching the kiddos with me. These moments mean so much... These are the times when i know it is not just about sex or debauchery or fun or rope, but is also about the real human connection between us.

Then Sire helped push the whirly gig the kiddos were on and i showed my rope climbing skills, where we both contemplated about how that Rope Jungle Gym would be a great place to tie... Even just standing in it makes me vibe out a little...

Then, we had a healthy dinner together and Sire went on his way to prepare for Friday at his place because Open Rope Night was cancelled... After i talked his ear off, lol...

Twinsie returns on a Tuesday

So, what can i say? i wasn't expecting her to come back to us... Usually, people that take themselves away from me rarely ever come back and when they do, i have found that it is much easier for them to leave again in the future.

She apologized for abandoning me... Daddy had warned her that i don't do well with abandonment... Neither of us do, but i have been abandoned since my mom left me at 5 and so it is almost a hard limit for me. i am the girl that gives a million chances, but i have learned that once a lover leaves, they don't really need to get back into my pussy for a while and i don't really want the taste of their lips on my mouth. Not until they can show me they won't leave again.

She said that she wants to be herself for us, not a filtered version of who she is. i am happy to see who she really is then. Will we still be Twinsies when i meet the real her? Will she put in the work to show that she really does care about me and loves me and won't leave me again? Only time will tell...

For now, we can be friends.

Sweetheart spends the night

i really enjoy it when Sweetheart spends the night. She comes over and hangs out, plays with the kiddos, and settles in. We talk a lot, watch shows, eat, and chillax. She sleeps on my side of the bed and i sleep on the floor in my little bundle of fox fur blankets... i am such a happy girl when my Sweetheart spends the night...

Guests to the GAP

After a fun day at the Renaissance Festival with Daddy and Sweetheart (a whole week after my last post -a week that was full of fun and rope and debauchery, but one that has slipped far enough away that i couldn't write 100% truthfully about each thing that happened, so i'm not going to try, lol), where Daddy bought me some fun elf stuff and a fox tail, we were set up to get ready at Lola's for the GAP party.

Lola and her Master were my guests for the evening!! i had not had guests before and this would be their first GAP party, so i was really excited. Lola is super hot and a masochist, so watching her enjoy getting her ass beat is a major turn on... If we weren't practically sisters... Sigh... Also, her Master is pretty hot too... (Just saying)...

Daddy couldn't come to the party right away because it was Sir's birthday and so Daddy was needed at the surprise party. i was invited as well and decided that i would keep the original plans i made because cancelling plans is rude as fuck to me. Nothing is worse than cancelling plans except lying to me... Daddy was coming along a little later, once the surprise part of the party was over. Both parties started at the same time, so we implemented a divide and conquer strategy... Lol...

i started out the night nervous and disappointed in the adjustment in the schedule and the fact that i hadn't heard from lil fox since i messaged her Friday about coming to the party. My heart was broken over that one... This was the second time she had blown me off (later found out through her tumblr blog that she decided to go fuck some dude instead of keep her plans with me again!!!) and that is 1 time too many in my book. i don't deserve to be treated like shit by anyone...

After we got there, Lola started telling Sire about how she would like to see my ass get beat. Yes, always the antagonizer when it comes to me and pain, lol. Sire and i had discussed doing my first big scene of impact play at the GAP party together earlier that week. i had a flogging session at APEX with no one watching once and a few smaller scenes with Daddy and Sir at the TNG parties that we went to, but those were also mostly about rope with a paddle here or a flogging there. Never a full scene of just impact play in front of people! And not just the 2 or 3 that can fit in a room, but a whole backyard full of people!!

Exhibitionist that i am, i quickly undressed and laid across the table as Sire requested. He started off really soft and light, alternating ass cheeks and talking to me... i lost myself quickly in the soothing rhythm of Sire's voice and the methodical application of the paddle on my ass. We used paddles, floggers, a dragontail, and a whip. The loud cracks of the whip made me jump and the afterburn was felt for a while. The dragontail felt like a towel snap and there was 1 paddle that hurt like a bitch, but Sire only used it a couple of times to bring the blood to the surface.

As i settled down from the scene, i sent Twinsie a text to see if she was coming to the party. She started reaching out to us again earlier in the week. Did i write about her taking herself away from us?... i can't remember... If i didn't, it was because it was something i didn't want to have to remember... This blog grabs a lot of my life, but not all of it... i like to write about the things i want to look back and read about in the future, you know... Maybe i was coming out of the bathroom, i don't remember, when she popped out of no where and said she was here! That was a surprise!!

Then, i went to help Lola and her Master set up for their scene. No one knew my guests were scening, so i was even more excited... You see, Lola was wearing this short sexy red spandex type number from Castle under this frilly pink dress and you totally couldn't tell... When she removed her dress, with Sweetheart and i there to help, she looked like a sex goddess... i looked over at Sire, who was scening with someone else and saw when she caught his attention and his eyes were so wide!! Adorable!!

A whole crowd collected and watched their hot scene as well. Shortly after that, Daddy got there!! i missed Him so much!! i made sure that before He got there, i redressed in my elf costume and put in an emerald butt plug as per His request. He commented on how beautiful i was and let me strip off my clothes again in front of Him.

When we went back outside, we decided to do the fun wax play. Lola and i got naked and laid on our tummies next to each other after Lola announced to the party that she was naked! That happened to be my favorite part of the damn night... Seeing her standing there, proudly with her arms out, saying "This is a naked Lola"... We work out so much and do so much to create the bodies we want and i was so happy to see how proud she was of her accomplishment. We lost a lot of weight together, her and i... When the wax was too much for me, Sweetheart took over and did such a great job for my Daddy!!

The last event of the night was the towel snapping war! Sweetheart and i both dipped our hand towels in the pool and squeezed them out... Then we started attacking each other. It was like fencing... Parry, thrust, on guard... Lol... A naked elf and a human princess towel snapping each other viciously by the pool. She won with a final snap to my back that took me out... So much fun!!!!