Thursday, May 18, 2017

How long...

She's not going to stop... She is cuddling and smiling and poking and prodding... She's tickling and giggling...

It is infuriating and mind blowing... I have treated her like the shit on the bottom of my shoe and when it is all said and done, she is still trying to show me that she is not going anywhere... Except to the store for groceries... Lol...

I am not sure what her  angle is or what game she is playing, all I know is that I don't want her to win... A piece of me believes this is some kind of long con...

And then she pointed out that if she wins, then I win too... Her winning means that I let her into my heart and all three of us are happy together... If she is willing to stay with us through my crazy explosions, then why am I afraid that she will leave once I let my guard down... Maybe because I have seen it happen before... I have seen her leave someone she promised she wouldn't...

I see her trying... I see her growing... I see her fighting... Maybe I should stop being the fierce and overprotective dragon and settle back into the sweet and feisty fox that I know I am... Maybe I should stop comparing her actions of the past to who she is now... Maybe I should stop assuming that she has  an escape plan if she still hasn't used it yet... After all... I have not made it easy... How long do I make her pay for her mistakes...

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