Never Enough, No Its Never Enough!!

You know when you hit a wall and you’re feeling like you aren’t enough... just not enough for anyone in your life... you didn’t move quick enough, you didn’t overcome your own shit fast enough, you couldn’t develop the trust you need cuz of the other voices in your head (maybe not this one cuz I’m crazy), you didn’t give enough of the time or effort you should have...

And instead of a flood of support from those who say they love you, the escape that your looking for, the connection that you need to make it through, there is a pull away and a separation that happens...

And then, one thing in this pile of hot mess is picked back up and shoved in your face, like you didn’t know it was there... and it all just makes you feel even more horrible and reminds you of how you just couldn’t change yourself to be enough for someone else... or even for someone else’s someone else!!

I keep crying about how I just don’t seem to be enough right now... that song keeps playing in my head... the bitch in my head is screaming it at me and laughing

“It's never enough, no it's never enough
No matter what I say
It's never enough, no it's never enough
I'll never be what you want me to be”

 -Five Finger Death Punch 

Some things in life are doomed because of the hauntings of the past... new life lesson... how can I tell the difference? I can’t... time to stop trying to fuck with things from the past... it doesn’t work out... I used to be a 3 chances girl... but I think when it comes to my heart and people, I need to make it a one and done. This shit hurts.