One thing that i have noticed is that my attachment to Master has grown over the years. Sometimes this attachment is a very positive thing and other times it is beyond negative. When one wakes up to go for work and then has a crazy panic attack, there is a problem.
Sometimes i wish i could stay at home and Master would go to work... then i could clean the house, cook an amazing dinner, homeschool the kids, and maybe start a garden or raise chickens. If i really got my way, then the kids would be out of the house and i would be able to do some of this stuff in the nude, lol...
The biggest drawback of the anxiety isn't the fact that sometimes i literally have to get kicked out of the house to go to work. It is the feeling that i sometimes have later in the day. Sometimes i think i hate Him for allowing me to become so dependent or for not trying to fix it. Sometimes i think i hate Him for kicking me out of the house or not texting me during the day. Then, i act like a brat and feel really bad about my feelings.
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