The beginning

i actually received a question before the end of the month! i am so excited because i thought it would take longer for people to read and comment on my blog! Yay!!

Master H asked "How did you first get involved in this lifestyle?"

Master and i have been together for a very long time and we have always tried to keep our relationship interesting and exciting, both in and outside of the bedroom. When we first started dating and through the first 6 years of our marriage, we were a vanilla couple. We butted heads a lot because we were both such strong personalities and i will say that i am not proud of the corners i would sometimes back Him into.

At one point, i became exhausted with the power struggle that was going on in our house. i had always loved to serve Him, get Him things, take care of Him... but i also wanted things my way. You see, i thought i was smarter and better and just knew the path we should be on. i was okay with dragging Him where i thought we should be and thought that sometimes i could force Him to change who He was if i thought it was better for our family.

Through this whole first part of our lives together, i still researched BDSM because i figured it would spice up our live life. As i read, i found myself lost in the fantasy of it. my all time favorite movie is how i introduced it to Him as something to play with, hoping that He would see what i really wanted.

i really wanted Him to put me in my place, for lack of a better term... but i was scared to ask. i was scared He would say no... Our marriage was happy and we never really fought, but the struggle for direction was there and i was tired of making the decisions and tired of thinking i knew it all.

We started with little things in the bedroom... a spanking here, a cuff there, and then i asked if He wouldn't mind telling me what to do. At first, He wasn't sure what i was really asking for, so we started with a contract. Looking back at that, it was kinda funny. He said that i should create my rules and punishments and that i should keep track of when i messed up so He could punish me. i vaguely remember telling Him that He was doing it wrong. He surprised me by reminding me that this dynamic was about Him getting what He wants and me serving Him and bending to His will. In that moment, i caught a glimpse of the Master i have now.

Whew! i know that was a long post, but i am glad if you stick around to read it.