Strange Couple

Tired of fucking myself with dildos, I decided to take a break today... I used that time to go see my Sire. I hate driving, but his body was too sore from the night before for him to want to drive to get me. So I offered a massage and drove over to connect. He texted about how strange of a couple we are, that I would seek him out to give my pussy a break...

I hadn’t really thought of it like that... I hadn’t seen our relationship as strange, but I guess I can understand that perspective... It is definitely different from relationships I have had in the past. Usually, I throw my pussy into the ring right away... but I mean, vaginal sex just doesn’t hold appeal to me... it was just something I thought I needed to do to satisfy the man I love so he wouldn’t leave me (abandonment issues on lock)...

Sometimes, I start to wonder if I’m asexual, but then my good feels around BJs, fingering, and anal tell me that the act of sex is just something I find uncomfortable... kind of like having my pussy eaten. I wonder if my childhood trauma has fucked up my mental and emotional feelings surrounding vaginal play. It makes me feel like the recent abuse uncovery has impacted me much deeper than I originally realized. I also used to fantasize about eating pussy, but now, the thought creeps me out...

So ya... I guess I am strange... any relationship with me will be strange, I guess...

Wasn’t planning on writing all that, lol, but apparently I hit a pocket of feeling. I love when it pours out like that and I have to read what I wrote to understand my own feelings, lol... (eye roll with sarcasm on that last sentence)...

Anyways, so I got to Sire’s and lit a bowl. Then, I gave him my famous back rub and worked out some knots in his lower back. After, we cuddled and made out. He told me of his fart box tongue punch trophy and I told him about working through my childhood abuse. He talked of how he could write me more and I would love that. I am hoping as I continue down this path, I can love everything about who I am and truly heal through acceptance of myself. After a while, it was time for me to go back home.