Alone...

The house is quiet and the kids are sleeping. Daddy is gone and I feel so alone... And sad... I miss his noises right now and not hearing them is making me cry... After Daddy would leave for work, my boy would start giggling and squealing with joy in his room. I would go open the door and he would turn and smile at me... My little lost love...

I am crying so hard right now, it hurts... Everything hurts so much when I feel alone... When I have to work through my sadness... I was stalking fet, which I do often, because I like to stay updated on my friends. Well, my exes updated their dating stats recently, so I got hurt. And then I stopped and asked myself, why did that hurt? And I thought about it and I was hurt because I couldn't believe that my friends would want to date a woman who would tell them that they could not help a friend through the loss of her son with rope because of an insecurity... I thought they were smarter than that...

So I went to read her profile... And then a very specific writing that she did... And I have to believe that she never thought of me as a friend who needed help... They probably didn't think to bring that up to her... Cuz why would they... Our relationship was over before they connected and they had started to build something new and I was seen as the ex girlfriend, like back in high school, lol... And so I am dropping the hurt and letting it go... She seems like an amazing person based on the writing I loved...

I know that some of you reading this might be uncomfortable at this point, but I really don't give a shit... This is my life and my story and I get to write it... It is up to you to read it... Or not... Lol ;)