D/s dynamic - the start

Last night, I was so nervous... You know, that first date kind of jittery nervous that comes with wanting to make the right impression on an individual... Granted, I am not dating... Or even looking for a romantic relationship outside of the one I have with my Daddy. I am taking a year long break from romantic relationships and just learning to be me again... I need to be secure in myself and what I am looking for before I hop out there again and I think a year is a good goal...

So then, one might ask, who is this individual you want to impress? Well, since I asked, lol... I found a woman who I believe has the ability to actually dominate me. I am highly intimidated by her when she doesn't even try to intimidate me. There is an innate power that I can feel, even when I just think of her presence...

You see, I need help and I recognized that this last week. I am constantly falling apart and my ability to serve has been compromised. I know who I want to be and the life I want to have, but I need a practiced hand who doesn't love me to help me out. So I felt her out at Rope Night when I was in my element and her energy just vibed with mine as she tied me up...

So I asked her if she would be interested in dominating me... That's right! I asked!! Via Fet IM, but that is still a huge step for me... So weird and out of my norm, but I am going to need to push myself to achieve what I want sometimes...

We texted a bit about expectations before meeting up to discuss the potential D/s dynamic that could exist. We reviewed limits, play experiences, and basically what I am looking for to see if it is something she can provide. She notified me that she has had experience in this area in the past and would enjoy meeting with me to discuss and see if she will take me on.

My first task was to dress like the lady I love to be! This worked really well for me because I was already wearing my prettiest dress yesterday with my favorite cardigan and yellow shoes. I became nervous and antsy as the orientation wrapped up because then it was time to find her at the event.

I found her surrounded by friends and being the life of the party. I watched her interact with a submissive that was in her care and with another friend that she had tied before... I was enthralled by this young woman who already knows who she is and what she wants and it was intimidating.

Here I am, 9 years older than her, searching for her guidance and help. I am ready to jump all in, like I do, into this new dynamic. As we sat across the table from each other, she emphasized the importance of open and clear communication, respect for my current dynamic, respect for her and how she will help, and again outlined that she and I will not be romantic or even considered a secondary relationship. She is a third party entity/mentor that is here to provide me with the guidance I need to get my shit in order.

She then asked if I had any questions... I was completely tongue tied! Me!! The girl that never shuts up, could only muster a no, not that I can think of. I didn't ask about her experience. I didn't ask what types of things would be expected or what time she may need. I didn't ask for references or what she might do to me... I just trust that she is who I am looking for right now. She said that everything she does will be in my best interest to honor me as the woman and submissive that I am... And I know that she was speaking her truth... I could just feel it... Hopefully, I am right...

I can already tell that this will be good and interesting... And the best part is that the universe brought her back to me when I needed her. You see, I met her before, when I was me... So she has an idea of who that person is and who I am trying to get back to.