New Year's Eve

After working all day, i looked forward to unwinding at puppy's party. We would be hanging out with friends, which always puts us at ease... Love my family, but living in vanilla land gets pretty annoying sometimes and for the most part, my friends are kinky and/or they know who i am...

At puppy's, the spread was amazing and the party was perfect. Our kids were there and my friends, all these kinky people, were enjoying themselves as well. None of the kiddos there blinked an eye when puppy got down on her knees to clean up a mess, because that is what they are used to seeing too... They never even glanced over.

i danced through the house, twirling and grinding to the music... i would have felt weird doing it at my in-laws, with family that sometimes has judgey eyes, but i felt like myself there. i got to drink and smoke out and talk about real life with amazing people who listened and shared pieces of themselves with me. These are the moments where long lasting and life long friendships develop and it was amazing.

Before midnight, we ran into puppy's room and locked the door and Frisky (new friend) got spanked by her Daddy with puppy's ginormous paddle, called The Judge. She liked it... i hate that thing so bad.

Then we came out and partied some more, which is when Sire and Twinsie and her friend showed up. We were able to see the beautiful aftermath of their scene at APEX. Her ass is amazing and sure can take some fun. i wish my skin was tougher and could take more. i want so badly to be able to enjoy and experience that side too, but it scares me a little cuz it fucking hurts, lol...

My Daddy set off the fireworks and we were able to give each other our midnight New Year's kiss, which was amazing and passionate and full of need and love and understanding and hope... Then i was able to give Sire a deep kiss for the New Year as Daddy and Twinsie shared their own. i could feel the hope for a bright future in that kiss as well. Twinsie and i shared a few wonderful kisses through the night as well.

Then, all the adults went into the bedroom again as the little kids watched a movie (mostly asleep) in the living room and the older kids were playing video games (my oldest was grounded until 2016) in puppy's son's room. Frisky's Daddy let us all give her a couple spankings with The Judge for the New Year. Then we got to kiss and lick her ass. i scraped my nails all over her amazing back. i thoroughly enjoyed man-handling Frisky and thanked her Daddy for the pleasure.

After she got in trouble for getting naked (oopsie), Daddy had me get naked, which i love. Then, He decided to offer my ass for spankings, which made me upset. You see, He doesn't play with me that way... At this point in my life, we use spankings for punishment only and most of our play is sex/bj/anal oriented unless we get a new toy (and we will try it for a day or 2). He started spanking me a little with The Judge. i hate that toy. Then, He handed it to puppy, who hit so hard... It took everything in my power not to cry. i stepped away from the bed, then back and reset position. Daddy grabbed my hands.

Then Frisky got a turn and the pain i felt exploded exponentially. My Daddy had my arms pinned so i couldn't move away and i ripped my arms out of His hands and shook it off and then reset my position. Daddy tried to grab my hands again, but i pulled them away. i needed to be able to shake it off if someone else was going to hurt me.

Then i heard someone else ask and i hated my Daddy in that moment... To not condition me for this at all and then to set my ass out there for people to whack at me... No positive reinforcement as it was happening. No petting my hair and telling me what a good girl i was for resetting my position... Nothing... Alone on an island of pain when pain isn't my kink, at least not yet... i didn't like it and just writing about it right now sends tears streaming down my face...

He could see my hate when He looked at me and told me to get dressed. He knew in that second that the spontaneous decision He made was the wrong one, but i also hope He knew that i still gained the experience, which means that it wasn't in vain. Gaining the experience is the best part to me... My ass still hurts, but the hate was gone within 30 minutes... i don't hold on to that shit...

i was a little sad when i saw Sire set the paddle down because we have chatted a little about me getting to experience his form of play. When i sat down near him, ass throbbing, he talked with me about ramping up during spanking sessions so it wouldn't be as bad... i was able to enjoy time and light kisses and holding hands. Felt very organic and easy.

We talked about our next date. i hugged and kissed my Daddy to show Him i didn't hate Him. To remind Him that i love Him. We talk about these things in bed before we go to bed so we can review experiences and adjust our play and our methods... The safe space where we talk without fear of punishment or fear of hurting the others feelings. All together, a wonderful way to start 2016!!