Snapping

i fell apart... My mind snapped and life felt unreal and crazy and impossible... It stopped feeling real... Everything... And i felt lost... So i reached out... Cuz that is what i do...

Daddy reached back and told me to come straight home after work (trying to work when nothing feels right is very difficult), smoke a bowl, have a drink, and enjoy the surprise visit that He lined up with Sire and Twinsie on their way to the GAP coffee.

When i got home, my mind was still broken. i cuddled into Daddy's lap and cried... He held me and tried to cheer me up with happy things, but that wasn't happening... i wasn't ready... He made silly jokes... He called me all the things that usually make me smile... And all i did was cry... Nothing He said was making sense... My mind was broken...

When Sire and Twinsie arrived, i tried to interact and honestly don't know how i did... We all got cozy on the couch with Twinsie in Daddy's lap and me sitting next to Sire. They were playful and kissing each other and Daddy was happy...

His waves of happiness touched me... Their waves of happiness were adorable and sweet and playful. They decided to take it to the next level and went into the room while Sire and i watched a movie with the kids.

It was nice to cuddle up in Sire's arms, knowing that Daddy was well taken care of by Twinsie. She brings a lightness into His step and into His countenance and seeing that light in His face makes me so happy. On that day, i needed to see happy and the two of them being together and enjoying each other helped me see it. Sire and Twinsie had to leave to get to coffee... But i wish they could've stayed longer... Playing seems to be the only thing that distracts me from my torture...