After i got the kids to bed, we were able to play for a bit. i was feeling extra slave-y in my new collar, so i thanked Him for it and told Him so. i let Him know how much i love it and how good it makes me feel to be owned in such a way. i am really happy about my new collar!
Then, i asked Him how He feels when He sees the collar on me... He immediately shut down and said He didn't want to talk about that right now... then, He went to sleep and left me pondering and freaking out about what He could have meant by that... Could it be that i was finally in line with everything He wanted when He gave it to me, but now that i made that comment about my readiness, that i no longer deserve it? Could it be that the ownership also seems more real for Him as well and He is not sure how to handle those emotions? Could it be that He doesn't like it or He loves it?
i am so confused... sigh...
It can be so hard when communication shuts down. Dom or Sub, Master or slave, no one is a mind reader (though it can feel that people read minds sometimes).
ReplyDeleteI hope you guys talk it out! Maybe there is a way to introduce another girl into your lives in a way that is comfortable for you both. What exactly makes you uncomfortable - physical intimacy and sex? Perhaps another could start out serving domestically, etc. Or you could dominate her together.
Thank goodness we talked about it last night... i tend to be a little over dramatic sometimes... Thank goodness i can use this blog to get a lot of those neurotic and nervous ideas out of my mind...
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