The aftermath

Playing on Friday changed my life... i am not sure if this sounds absurd, but quite honestly, i don't care. It is the fact of the matter... And it caught me by surprise. Maybe it didn't catch you by surprise, loyal readers or friends that i personally know that read my blog... But it sure surprised me...

i have been preaching for a while that everyone and every body is beautiful and this is something I truly believe. i tell my friends that, when they talk badly about their bodies... i tell my Papa Bear just how much i love His body and of course the things it can do to me... And i tell myself that when i look in the mirror and wish that i had perkier breasts or a flatter stomach... But i didn't really believe it for myself... i was trying to fake it till I made it... until i played...

Being naked on that piece of equipment for anyone in the club to see changed my views... Seeing the way that Papa Bear and our new friend looked at my body while they were flogging me and i was in sub space changed the way i look at myself... i never realized before that i am beautiful... i never realized that this body, after having 3 kids, is still perfect... Not the same kind of perfect it was when i was 18 and the stretch marks weren't there and everything was in a different place, but still perfect in its own way.

Sub space is a place that can deeply impact my beliefs and thoughts if i am in far enough... Believe me when i say that they flogged me into the deepest space i have been in to date... And their view of me changed my view of me. Seeing Papa Bear's attentive look, feeling His hands on me and hearing Him compliment me switched something. Seeing our new friend's beautiful smile, hearing that she wished she could take a picture of me (of me!!!), and feeling her hands and mouth on me, calling me beautiful and baby girl... These things all changed me for the better... Gave me confidence in myself...

i will probably always wish that i had perkier breasts and a flatter stomach, but now... when i look in the mirror... i don't see my dangling breasts and squishy stomach as something to be ashamed of or as something to hide from... i see them as a beautiful piece of work in progress. This is my body and it is amazing. It can do so many things and take so much on and it is simply amazing to me now that i didn't really believe it before...

This experience changed a lot more about me than that, but this change is the one i want to share with the world... The others were a bit too personal to share on here. Maybe one day, but not now... Thank you for reading 😘