Thoughts and love

So, i have been thinking a lot about my blog and my experiences. i actually have a few friends that read it, Papa Bear reads it, and a few acquaintances also read it. i really like this aspect because i have always been an open book and writing is a much easier way to express myself. 

i also started to get a little worried today about this aspect, because what if my thoughts or feelings hurt or affect someone else. After thinking about it and chatting with another friend, i decided that my blog will stay free of that worry. If you don't want to read my thoughts, then definitely stay off of this blog... ;-) 

i can easily type out how i feel without feeling crazy or judged. i can process through my emotions and get some of it out of my head. i can also provide insight for those that care enough to read into my mind and thought processes. It is just an overall useful tool for me.

The most interesting thing i have learned so far is that i can change with the wind, but my heart always stays in the same place. My heart loves like there is no tomorrow... This is amazing, but is also a kind of curse at the same time. i know that Papa Bear will always own my heart but it is big enough to let others in and once someone is in, there is no going back...

That brings me back to all of this dating we have been doing. What if i fall in love with someone before they love me? What if they fall in love with me first? Can i fall in love with too many people? These thoughts swirl in my brain. i can see our current love interest as someone i could fall for, which is great. It means that we are probably really compatible. i know that she may not be ready for a relationship and i will always honor that, but my heart is my heart and it is something i cannot and will not change.

As i was writing this last paragraph, i thought long and hard about potentially changing it or censoring myself because i don't want to cause anyone discomfort or scare someone away because i also know that some of my love interests will read this... Don't be afraid... If i fall and the same type of love isn't returned, we will still be great friends and my Papa Bear will always be there for me. :-*